Alarm number 1 beeps
and I hit the snooze.
Then clock number 2
starts singing the blues.
humor
Turf Wars
My neighborhood sits on some prime real estate. This is only my opinion, of course, but let me share with you my observations. We have been in the middle – bystanders – to some turf wars the past few years.
It all started with the indigenous gopher tribe. We live in a desert so this makes sense. Not familiar with gophers? They are a skittish lot. A species that does not know how to relax. It seems their lot in life is to flit about like a group of nervous Nellies. I swear they have a store of coffee in their underground tunnels. The Java Joe Go’s also let out a nervous whistle from time to time. A high pitched, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,” echoes throughout the neighborhood.
Some details need to be shared with the rest of us…
I saw this photo on MSN photos Friday while at work. The little blurb that accompanied it said something along the lines of a giraffe traveling 900 miles. I swear that’s it. No, I can’t prove it.
This is my train of thought: “That giraffe is not going to fit in that truck. There’s no way it can be humane to transport it like that. Surely, there is an opening in the top of the truck for it to poke its head out.” The timing of that last thought was unfortunate. The trailer for Hangover 3 had just finished inundating commercial breaks for weeks. Perhaps you’ve seen it, too? It involved a giraffe, a vehicle, and an underpass. Just to be clear, I’ve never watched any of the Hangover movies – nor do I plan to. Just not my thing. But I did see the preview that played almost every single commercial break.
Warning: do not watch the video if you’re at all squeamish. Or a giraffe lover.
In my defense, I tried clicking on the picture to get more of the story but our handy IT team blocked it due to it being classified as “games and recreation.”
So, I couldn’t find out the rest of the story until I got home. I swear, I did not see the word “taxidermy” anywhere in the blurb at work. It’s amazing what you find out when you can see the whole picture and read the whole article.
The giraffe is stuffed folks, nothing to worry about here.
Attention Span
Kid’s Mag
As I mentioned yesterday, an old friend of mine died last week. Shane and I met in 6th grade when his family moved in up the street. Since we lived on a boundary street we could choose the school we attended. Technically, we were rivals. At least our schools were. He rode the bus to the newer junior high. I attended the school on this side of town. The funny thing is, we were closer when we attended different schools. When it came time for us to attend the only high school in town, we drifted apart with different circles of friends.
3-day weekend
Ah, holiday weekends.
I text my niece, Lyn, on Friday night and asked when her mom, MZ, and her were coming to town. She replied Sunday morning. So, I put off cleaning and ironing and went for a walk. When I returned an hour later, we had a houseful including MZ and Lyn. We Lees like to sneak. Usually we’re not very good at it so kudos to them. Also waiting at the house were two of my other nieces, Jo-T and Bubba and Bubba’s fiancé SS. Have I mentioned Bubba is getting married? More on that later.
Unfortunately, they came to an unclean and kind of gross house. That’s a little embarrassing. And I never did get around to doing the ironing.
The next day, we played in the Green River for an hour. Well, they played. I took pictures. The water is really cold and kind of smelly so I opted out of swimming. Plus, I was hanging out with a group of young’uns in swimming suits. Yeah, I’m not going to wear a swimming suit while mingling with that crowd. Ever.
It was a lovely, lazy, summer kind of day. My favorite kind. Until 7:00 when we received a text from Bubba saying they were on their way to the hospital. Jo-T and her were involved in a 4-wheeler accident and bystanders called the ambulance.
She thought her ankle was broken but Jo-T received, “Mild injuries.”
We beat them to the hospital and watched as they were taken out of the ambulance. They were in the garage and we stood outside so they couldn’t see us. Bubba was put in a wheel chair but Jo-T was taken in on a stretcher. My heart dropped. The ER staff wouldn’t let us go back and see them until they were checked in the room.
I paced back and forth. “She’s fine,” Lyn reassured. “You always think the worst.”
Uh, yeah. She’s on a stretcher with a neck brace on. It was not a calming picture.
Their parents were out of town. Happy to report, they are okay with mild injuries and a whole lot of pain. After a couple of hours in the ER they were released. We made sure they were situated for the night.
I text Bubba the next day and asked how she was doing. “OK, just in lots of pain,” she replied.
“You know what’s good for that?” I asked.
“What?” 🙂
“Not have a 4-wheeler roll on top of you.” 🙂 (I’m so funny!)
“Oh yeah! Gosh I wish I would have thought of that ;)”
“It’s a good rule of thumb.” I really don’t know how they manage to get anything done with this resident comedienne keeping them in stitches all the time. Oh, that might have been an inappropriate phrase to use at this time.
Lyn, MZ, and I concluded our Sunday evening by watching George of the Jungle (1997). Hey, don’t judge! There’s a lot of wit behind the cheesiness. The narrator uses all that alliteration and… it’s just good for a giggle, all right?
It’s been awhile since we watched it. When it came to the part where George is in San Francisco and eating everything in Ursula’s apartment, Lyn stated, “There’s no way he could eat all that. It would make him sick.”
“Really? That’s the part you have a problem with?” I asked.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? You should watch it. You know, when you’re in a silly mood and with that one friend that laughs at everything and makes everything funnier. Maybe late at night. It’s good times.
(sigh) The weekend is nearly over. But there’s always a chance my ship will come in today. C’mon, ship!
Fear and dark
Stirring the pot
She resented the fact
they had placed her in the middle.
She did not like it at all,
no how, not even a little. Continue reading
F’ar to Midland
You know that oft used expression, “Fair to middling?” I’m sure you use it at least once a day. No? Well, you’re an odd duck, aren’t you?
Anyway, it came up during a conversation my office mate had. Possibly with herself because she has been kind of stressed and been prone to ramble at peculiar times lately.
I think what you meant to say is Daphne
In one of my posts last week, I described my talent of choosing celebrity doppelgangers for the regular folk. And then, on my Facebook page I was put to the test. Some of my FBF’s were curious for me to share my ability. Against my better judgment I gave in and complied. I couldn’t figure out why I was so apprehensive. After all, doing something potentially mean spirited just for the sake of a few laughs has never stopped me before. Then I remembered a few years ago when the role was reversed. And I didn’t appreciate it one iota.
ck's days 