humor

Birthday Road Trip 2012: Yellowstone or Bust!

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As you read these very words, I am almost three hundred miles away from home.  It’s the first weekend of August which means it’s time for my annual Birthday Road Trip.  This tradition started based on my self-made theory that a birthday can’t find you if you’re not at home.  So, I’ve been 29 for ten years.  On a side note, by the 6th 29th, however, I didn’t feel very twentyish. 

Since I went to New York for a weekend in June, my pocket book demanded a low key road trip this year.  Yellowstone National Park it is.  FYI, Yellowstone is in Wyoming – not Montana.  Montana has successfully marketed their sliver of the park as West Yellowstone.  Check out a map though.  You’ll be surprised how little of the park is in Montana versus Wyoming.  Yes, I might have a small issue with the whole West Yellowstone claim to fame.  I’ll let it go for now, though.

This year the trip is just going to be Bubba and me.  That’s okay.  She is on this whole kick of being an adult now and insists on moving to Utah at the end of the month.  Something about being closer to a certain boy.  Blah, blah, blah. This trip could be our very last road trip together.  Why is everyone moving to Utah?  And no, I’m not convinced to move back.  I’ll just make new friends and miss my old ones.

But for this weekend, we will enjoy Wyoming.  First, we will stop at stinky Thermopolis and swim in the hot springs.  Then we will make our way to Cody and probably sleep pretty well after our swim stop.  Saturday we will spend the whole day in the park.  No hurry.  No agenda.  Just take our sweet time.  We’ll come home on Sunday.

map courtesy mapquest.com

Sounds like a pretty good birthday to me.

SWF Seeks Employment at a Nonexistent Company

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I want a new job.  A magical new job would work best for me.  No, I don’t expect to perform HarryPotter Houdini’s all day.  That would be a silly.  However, I do have a list of demands I’d like met.

Requirements that must be met at my next employment:

  1. I’d like to travel.  Send me anywhere, anytime.  I am ready and willing.  My dream job is to be a truck driver.  There are only a couple of small details prohibiting me from fulfilling my fantasy.  One is driving.  The second is the truck.  Okay, maybe it’s just one combined problem – driving a big ol’ truck.  I have to admit, when I see the rigs pulled over and I know the driver is all snug inside sleeping for twelve hours, I’m a little jealous. 
  2. I’d like to set my own hours.  This 8:00am stuff really doesn’t work for me.  However, I don’t like staying after 5:00pm.  So maybe, I should just work from home.  Then I could work during my, as of now, undiscovered peak times of productivity. 
  3. No accountability.  Just trust me, the work will get done.  Eventually.
  4. Overlook the whole lack of education thing.  If you really want me to receive an education, pick up the tab.  I’m not too proud to let you do that.
  5. Pay me a whole lot of money.  I’m talking, a butt load of money.  There are so many toys I want to by myself.  Car, house, truck, new computer, etc.
  6. Understand that I get bored easily.  So, 8 hours of data entry does not really jive with me.  I need lots of tasks or I will get on Facebook.
  7. Don’t get mad when I’m on Facebook.
  8. Let me use my undiscovered niche. 
  9. Let me have a window in my office.  The day feels twice as long when there is no window.
  10. An August through June work schedule sounds lovely.  July is too hot to work.

Is this too much to ask?  If I sound like I could make a valuable contribution to your company please hit like.

Facebook Stalking Anyone?

/ cksdays / 6 Comments

I’m not sure how I feel about Facebook yet.  Oh yeah, I’m a daily user and peruser but I have mixed feelings about it.  On one hand, it’s been fun to reconnect with old friends.  On the other, it can make me feel kinda creepy in a stalkerish sort of way.  And this isn’t the 80’s anymore.  It’s no longer cool – or romantic – to stalk anyone.  Sorry, John Cusack, your boom-box stunt would now get you arrested and a restraining order slapped on you.  Ah, the 80’s.

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The Avenging Unicorn

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I am jealous.  Today a coworker brought in a present she received from a friend.  Her friend sends her the most awesome toys.  Last week she brought in a Zombie Apocalypse action figure set.  Complete with a dog running around with a severed human (er, zombie) arm.  I know what you’re thinking, how can that possibly be topped?  With three words that’s how, The Avenging Unicorn.

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The Joy of Domesticity

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My sister, NJ, and I went grocery shopping together the other day.  She confided in me, “There are two things I hate to do, shopping and laundry.”    As opposed to those who just enjoy the heck out of performing these two tasks?  I have never met a single person who has confessed loving to do either chore, myself included.  Granted, I haven’t asked every single person in this big world.  I know there are different strokes for different folks so it wouldn’t surprise me to eventually meet someone who gets giddy grocery shopping or who loves doing laundry.  To that person I have two little words:  you freak.

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A Dream is Just a Dream. Really.

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I don’t put much stock into dreams.  At least, not my dreams.  I know there are websites galore to explain dreams and to provide interpretation, blah, blah, blah.

My dreams are usually a mesh-up of my day.  They are in color and typically have the feel of a movie (product of this generation, I suppose.  I wonder what dreams looked like pre-Hollywood? Do you think the ancient Greeks dreamed of constellations?).

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