“’At this time of the rolling year,’ the spectre said, `I suffer most. Why did I walk through crowds of fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise Men to a poor abode? Were there no poor homes to which its light would have conducted me!‘

Scrooge was very much dismayed to hear the spectre going on at this rate, and began to quake exceedingly.

`Hear me!’ cried the Ghost. `My time is nearly gone.’

`I will,’ said Scrooge. `But don’t be hard upon me! Don’t be flowery, Jacob! Pray!’

`How it is that I appear before you in a shape that you can see, I may not tell. I have sat invisible beside you many and many a day.’

It was not an agreeable idea. Scrooge shivered, and wiped the perspiration from his brow.

`That is no light part of my penance,’ pursued the Ghost. `I am here to-night to warn you, that you have yet a chance and hope of escaping my fate. A chance and hope of my procuring, Ebenezer.’” (A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens, emphasis added).

Why was Marley permitted to visit Scrooge that fateful Christmas Eve night? Why was he allowed to warn his old partner of his impending fate? Maybe there was a silent prayer offered from the heart of Scrooge himself. It was so silent he wasn’t even aware he said it. From some hidden corner of his heart a plea was sent up. Maybe, just maybe this is what that hidden corner of his heart asked for on December 23^rd.

 

Here I am

where I want to be

sitting alone

with no company.

 

How did I get here?

Choice by choice, day by day

broken promises

have led the way.

 

With each hope raised

but not followed through

the heart became protective

it did what it had to do.

 

Forget the warmth.

Forget the good cheers.

Forget the laughter.

Remember only tears.

 

Until bit by bit

my mind convinced me

that this life

is how I want to be.

 

Ignore that tiny voice

coming from deep inside

looking for warmth

let those feelings hide.

 

No miracle for me.

Let the season pass by.

Love does not exist.

My heart will no longer try.

 

I am quite positive

that the Baby Boy’s birth

was not for one like me

but everyone else on Earth.

 

But maybe, just maybe,

if it is not too late

a miracle could come

and possibly change my fate?

 

Here I am

where I want to be

sitting all alone

without any company.

© 2016 ck’s days