The Fishing Hole

            Calvin did not, in fact, witness his first nursing home fisticuffs and to tell the truth, he couldn’t help feeling slightly disappointed.  It should be quickly added that he was mostly relieved at not having to stop a physical altercation between two brittle participants and very relieved Nurse Clementine’s attention would not be drawn to his antics.  But still a tinge of disappointment that nothing physical materialized. The confrontation played out exactly how one would think it would play out in a nursing home.  By the time Marty made his way to Gus and Calvin he had expended his energy and the only thing he could do was sit down on a chair next to the couch they sat on to catch his breath.

            Gus stood up when he saw Marty making his way to them but by the time Marty had reached the couch, Gus was already sitting down again apparently tired of standing.

            “So,” Calvin said after letting them both catch their breaths, “you two have been going at this since high school?” He asked then realizing how long ago that was he repeated and emphasized, “high school?”

            “Ha!” Marty said.  “He wishes we had been friends in high school.”

            “I don’t wish,” Gus mumbled.  “You wish.”

            “Eh?” Marty asked then turned to Calvin.  “What did he say?” That he couldn’t hear but he knew exactly what their conversation entailed before he was even in close proximity?  Calvin made a note to do some serious bug sweeping in their rooms during one of his next few shifts.  He waved his hand at him and turned to Gus.  “Does this feud go back before high school?” He suddenly had an image of them as infants in the Paleolithic era sporting wooly mammoth diapers and calling each other names.

            “We were friends once,” Gus said.

            “A long time ago,” Marty said.  Calvin thought that was unnecessary since they were talking some time before they had graduated high school.  That alone meant they were talking well over 70 years ago.  So yeah, it was a long time ago.

            “So, what happened in junior high that caused such a big rift?” Calvin asked attempting to get to the details.

            “Junior high?” Gus asked looking at him.

            “Grade school?” Calvin guessed again. He looked at both of them.  For the first time that day, neither one seemed willing to share.  “What happened?” he decided to go with a direct approach.

            They looked at each other.  “My family lived in the coal camp since my dad got a promotion and the company moved us there,” Gus said.  “It was a pretty little community.  After years of trial and error, the company finally got it right when it came to setting up a town.  Most camps were set up systematically and this one was built the same way but with so much experience from other coal camps, we actually had a pretty nice community by the time it was up and running.  Except to prevent unions from forming, the company assigned housing.  I guess if two neighbors socialized, they would inevitably get together and talk about grievances.  Grievances led to reform.  And the company certainly didn’t want to pay for any of that.  So, they assigned housing and attempted to mix up the ethnicities and nationalities.  Subtly creating a language barrier.”

            “What he is trying to say,” Marty joined in, “is the company assigned us our house when we moved in.  Our house was right next to his,” he looked at his seemingly everlasting neighbor.  “I certainly would not have picked it.”

            “I didn’t pick it!” Gus protested.

            “The company chose our house,” Marty explained.  “And since we were about the same age, we were lumped together a lot.”

            “Back when you used to be fun. You used to be a good friend,” Gus said.

            Calvin thought he should try and build on that sentiment to see if there could be a layer of good will still underneath all the animosity.

            “Before you turned into an A-one moron,” Gus finished.

            Too late, Calvin thought. “So, you were friends in grade school?”

            Neither one responded to Calvin.  Instead, they continued their discussion. “Me?” Marty asked.  “I’m the moron?  Me?”

            Gus didn’t dignify what he clearly thought was an obvious fact with a statement. He merely tipped his head.

            “How do you like that?” Marty asked Calvin but also anyone within hearing distance could have heard if anyone had still been around.  The area had become quite deserted when other residents saw Marty and Gus were going to be in close proximity of each other.  “What a complete imbecile.”

            “Imbecile?” Gus asked.   “Imbecile? That’s rich.” He folded his arms. “I suppose if I had listened to you all those years ago, we’d still be waiting for our first bite.  But sure, sure, I’m the imbecile.”

            Marty threw his hands in the air.  “You are the most difficult person I know.”

            Calvin sensed by the sheer animosity the two were exuding that they had, in fact, finally reached the switch point.  This had to be ground zero for the feud when two friends became sworn enemies for life.  “What bite?” he asked quietly to try not to get them so fed up that they’d leave.  His mind raced with possibilities but nothing he could think of could possibly create this long or bitter of a feud.

            “Oh,” Gus said, “our town bordered this river.  We used to go fishing there every day the summer Marty moved in.  It was some good fishing.”

            “It was the best,” Marty agreed.  “Before all the pollution changed everything.  We caught some good trout in that river.  But the catfish was the best.”

            “Oh,” Gus continued, “and the way your mom cooked it!” He gave a chef’s kiss gesture.  “Your mom was the best cook in the whole camp.”

            The compliment threw Calvin off and he waited for some sarcastic but to accompany it.  None did though.  Gus genuinely paid Marty a compliment.  Or, at least, Marty’s mother but still that seemed like some kind of breakthrough. 

            “But your mom,” Marty started, “your mom was the heart of the camp.  Anyone who needed anything went to your mom.  An angel in camp.”

            Calvin blinked slowly a couple of times.  What was happening?  Did he just solve the life-long feud?  He should quit nursing and become some kind of diplomat of foreign nations.  This was easy.

            “It’s too bad she had such an idiot for a son,” Marty finished.

            And that was short lived, Calvin thought. Apparently by some rule agreed upon long ago, mothers were off limit in their rivalry.

            “Still smarter than what your mom had for a son,” Gus said.

            “Guys,” Calvin said trying to get the conversation back on track.  “What happened at the river?” His mind flipped through possible dark scenarios. He hoped he wasn’t about to hear a confession involving any dead and buried bodies by the river.

            “Oh,” Gus said like he had forgotten what they were talking about.  “It was the end of summer…”

            “It was fall, you idiot,” Marty interrupted.

            “No, it was summer,” Gus responded.

            “Fall.”

            “Summer.”

            “Fall,” Marty said again, “because it took place on a Saturday.  We were in school all week and it was definitely the weekend.”

            Gus thought about it and shrugged his shoulders.  “Maybe.” He conceded.  “It was a long time ago and I really haven’t given it much thought since then.”

            It was a good thing Calvin was sitting down because he might have toppled over hearing that claim.  The very fact they were sitting here together discussing it meant Gus had obviously thought about it a lot.  At least, just as often as Marty had.  Calvin waited for Marty to respond but he didn’t.  He figured Marty must not have heard what Gus said because he was too deep in thought.

            “The moron and I were supposed to go fishing,” Marty continued the story.

            “We went fishing every morning that summer,” Gus picked up the thread.

            “And every Saturday morning in the fall,” Marty didn’t relent an inch. 

            “Until one morning, the genius here,” Gus pointed his thumb toward Marty, “had a brilliant idea.”

            “It was a brilliant idea,” Marty agreed.

            “Brilliantly boneheaded,” Gus smirked at his cleverness. 

            “Now, wait a minute,” Marty complained and would have stood if he could but he couldn’t get his balance quick enough.  Instead, he pointed his finger.

            “You wait a minute,” Gus said pointing back.

            “Guys,” Calvin said holding up his hands.  “Just tell me what happened.”

            They both looked at him.  Marty folded his arms and refused to look at either of them. 

            Gus looked at Marty but when Marty didn’t return the look he rolled his eyes.  “Fine,” he said.  “I’ll tell him what happened.”

            “We have never discussed this with another person!” Marty finally looked at him.

            “Maybe it’s time we do,” Gus said while shrugging his shoulders.  “I mean, look at him,” he gestured to Calvin.  “He’s practically begging.”

            Calvin thought the word begging was a bit strong and almost cut the story off right there.  He didn’t need to hear the history of these two old men.  He had other things he could be doing.

            “Fine,” Marty said before Calvin said anything.  “But stick to the facts.  No embellishing like you normally do.”

            “I don’t embellish…” Gus started to defend himself.

            “Guys,” Calvin interrupted to keep the story on track.

            “Fine,” Gus said.  “We were supposed to fish one morning…”

            “In the early fall,” Marty stressed the season.

            “We were on our way to the river talking about all the fish we were going to catch,” Gus continued.  “Normally this guy,” again with the aggressive thumb point, “always picked our spot so I thought, just this once, I could chime in.”

            “Just this once?” Marty questioned.

            “I suggested we go down to the deep bends where the river slowed to a crawl. I bet the big catfish were just sitting in the mud waiting for us.”

            “That is as ridiculous now as it was then!” Marty cried.  “We always caught plenty of fish right behind the broken timber of the old mill dam.  There were always plenty of catfish hiding in the shadows under the logs.”

            “But we always went there, it wouldn’t have hurt us any to try something new, would it?”

            “Our moms were counting on the fish we caught!” Marty asked.  They were both yelling loud enough that if this hadn’t been a nursing home filled with residents hard of hearing, others would have come out of their rooms to see what was going on.

            Calvin held up his hands.  “Okay, okay, you both had an idea about where to fish that day.  And this is what broke up your friendship?  Choosing where to fish along the river?”

            The two old men both sat back in their seats with their arms folded.  Gus nodded.

            “So what, was that the big split that day?  You each went to your fishing hole?”

            “Of course we each went to our own spot.  We had to see who was right and we figured whoever caught the most fish would be right.”

            Calvin waited to hear the outcome.  “Well?  Who was right?”

            Gus looked down and Marty turned and stared down the hall. 

            “What?” Calvin asked expecting a quicker answer.  “Did neither of you catch any fish?”

            “No, we caught fish.  As luck would have it, we each caught a couple.” Gus answered.

            “So, what was the issue?” Calvin asked slowly.

            Neither man spoke.

            “You have been at each other for 80 years.  Why?”

            “Well,” Gus said slowly.  “It turns out, our fishing spots were only about 40 feet from each other.”

            “We were close enough to continue yelling at each other.” Marty said without looking at either of them.

            “We were so loud that we scared most of the fish away.” Gus said.

            Calvin waited for more. “Wait,” he said.  “Are you saying this big rift – this nearly lifetime feud – started over an argument about where to fish?”

            Marty nodded slowly.

            “And the spots you each chose over your friendship were close enough that you could actually wave to each other?”

            They both shrugged their shoulders.

            “Really?” Calvin asked wondering if there could be one more story coming.  Surely, there had to be something else.

            Gus sucked on his dentures.

            “We only fought because he was being obstinate,” Marty said.

            “We only argued because he was being bossy,” Gus replied.

            Calvin thought about it and shook his head.  Huh,” he said.  “And you have been going at it ever since.  Sinking deeper and deeper into this rift.” Neither one of them could see the cost of what they lost over something Calvin considered quite inconsequential.  As he thought about it though, none of their later fights were what he would have considered all that serious.  They had both chosen to fight rather than preserve their friendship, so it didn’t matter what came after that.  The disagreement became the binding force in their case.  It really would not have been that difficult to overcome any of the rifts they had along the way.  All this time, they chose contention instead of healing.  Again, and again.

            The two men didn’t say anything.

            “All right,” Calvin said as a group of three nurses were walking by. “I am officially off shift.” He stood up and asked the other nurses, “can you help these two gentlemen get back to their rooms?”  As the other nurses started helping Gus and Marty, Calvin turned back and said, “Just so you know, tomorrow I’m going to search both of your rooms for bugs.”

            Marty and Gus looked at each other.  “Good luck,” Gus said and Marty just snorted.  Calvin watched as they slowly made their way down the hall to their rooms.

            “All things considered, that was probably the saddest story I ever heard,” he said before heading out.

Chapter IV: The Graduates

Start again: Chapter I: The Nursing Home