Adventures at Wal-Mart

I went to Wal-Mart tonight looking for new marshmallow roasters.  Since it’s the end of the season I was hoping to stumble onto a great buy.  Something along the lines of the nice, sturdy pitchfork roasters for a couple of dollars would have been fantastic.  But the section was pretty sparse and all I could find were the slide out variety for five dollars.  But I did get two for that price so that made me feel a little better.

While searching for my roasters I stumbled upon a very innovative product.  A reusable picnic tablecloth that wipes clean and proudly boasts “Compact Storage.”  You read that right.  A picnic tablecloth that folds up for compact storage.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t all tablecloths have compact storage ability because, you know, they fold up?

A scene that has never happened:  Me:  “Nice table.”

Friend:  “Oh, that’s not our table.  That’s just the tablecloth.  We didn’t read the label closely enough when we purchased it.  The darn thing doesn’t fold!  So, we have to keep it in the middle of our living room floor because we have no other place to store it.  Please, don’t step on it!  We eat off of it, you know.”

The sad thing for me to realize is the ad rep that came up with that marketing gem makes more money than me.  Good for you, genius!

It’s always an adventure to shop at Wal-Mart.  One time I was flanked by two Wyoming thespians doing their darndest to impress me with their English brogue.  They carried on a nonsense conversation very loudly trying to gain an audience and get some approval for their aspiring talent.  Their plan might have worked a little better if it wasn’t a small town.  In Wyoming.  And if their English accent didn’t have a Wyoming drawl to it.

My friend sends me an email filled with pictures of people who shop at Wal-Mart.  The pictures are so wonderfully embarrassing I can’t help but laugh at them.  My fear is that one day, to my abject horror, I will see a picture of myself.  I don’t own anything with leopard print so I might be safe.


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