I went to see GI Joe: Retaliation last weekend.  My main reason, at first, was to spend some quality family time with my visiting family members.  I wasn’t opposed to going but it wasn’t a must-see.  I know I’ve seen the first one but I can’t remember anything about it.  If you want to see this movie, let me give you some homework.  Watch the first one again.  I was lost about ¾ of the movie.  I totally forgot some key plot points.  Like the fact there are ninjas in the movie.  They are kind of a major plot point to remember.  So, if the only thing you can remember about the first movie is the fact Channing Tatum (which I even forgot this key factor) is in it, you might want to re-watch it.

I could lie and say I went to see this movie because of its “honest portrayal of a war-torn country and the secret societies that uphold and contribute to corruptness.”  But let’s be honest.  What sold me is this poster my niece posted on her Facebook wall.  You can call me shallow if you want.  I prefer human.

On a side note, the actor formerly known but still referred to as The Rock has arms the same size as….well, as me.  My whole body.

Okay, back on topic.

The movie’s plot moved along as if my three-year old grandnephew called the shots. “The GI Joe’s will save the day!”  Since toys are always intermingled in one box the next figurine becomes the bad guy.  “And they fight….Ninjas … on a cliff of a mountain…”  I can imagine hearing little boys (or girls – because I was one of those girls) making fighting noises while conducting a battle down the hallway wall.  And then dropping the villain figurines down the wall to signify them losing the battle.

There are some funny parts.  The video game at the beginning made me laugh.  And some unintentional funny scenes.  The body bag flying down the zip-line in the background made me chuckle.  I’m not sure if it was supposed to, though.

Want to see it?  Planning on seeing it?  Considering seeing it?  Stop reading this post.  Click on this instead and read a nice article about the television show Psych.

If you’re still reading I’m assuming you either already watched GI Joe or you have no desire whatsoever in seeing it.

There is one major “What the heck just happened?” moment.  I didn’t believe it for most of the movie.  I kept waiting for some kind of twist.  Just something to make the major boo-boo all better.  It never happened.  I don’t want to give too much away.  Let’s just say, that picture up top that sold me on the movie is false advertising.  That scene did not happen.  If it did happen, it occurred when I blinked.

I also feel like people in the London area may not like this movie so much.  I wouldn’t if I lived there.  They kind of get the shaft.  Sure, the Joe’s save the day in the end. That is, for everyone except those who live in Western Europe.  Sorry Europe.  We’ll miss you.

In the end, the movie came together finally and held its own.  Sure, I should have watched the first one.  I think.  Even after watching the sequel I really can’t remember anything from the first.  If you like shoot-em ups and innocent people dying then this movie is for you.  Or if you just want to spend some time together as a family… well, if your family is as cool as my family, then yeah, go see it.