I recently read this blog post by my friend Stephanie.  Two days later, I was embroiled in a family conflict.  I could feel gray hairs popping out from my latest dye job from stress as I thought about Steph’s words.  But it was stress I brought on myself.

If I would have communicated better early on, I may not have gotten an upset stomach.  Nor would I have been tempted to play the blame game.  Or label a certain someone as a bossy brat (even if it is apropos).  And perhaps, I wouldn’t have been tempted to become a hermitess and disown certain extended family members  (I admit, I muttered, “who needs family?”).

There is a finesse to good communication skills.  A person, especially a woman, who takes charge, is quickly labeled with the negative connotation of being “bossy.”  I know I’ve done it.  Personally, I need to learn positive communication habits.  Or in other words, how to say what I want and then hear what I may not want to hear.  I believe poor communication habits have led to 90% of the stress in my life.  And maybe even my premature gray hair (just kidding, that was genetic).

Perhaps, perfect communication skills will be a key in obtaining the utopian society we all strive for.  Until then, in the words of John Mayer, I need to say what I need to say.  If I don’t, I can’t blame other people for my stress.