The truth of the matter…

I don’t have favorite people. Sure, there are some people I would rather spend more time with than others. There are some people who have traits and mannerisms that fall below my personal standard of annoyance. I’m not a snob. We all have an unspoken standard we measure people with. If a person happens to fall short of our measurement we fault them with a personality defect. What we are really saying though is that they didn’t meet our standard of non-annoyance. It’s true. In the back of our mind we are always judging others to see if they “make the cut.” So, no I don’t have favorites but I do have people who are a constant in my life.

If you are part of my life it probably has less to do with favoritism and more because of two things: time and effort. To be a constant in anyone’s life for a significant amount of time it is going to take on-going effort.

Long lasting relationships do not happen by accident. Our oldest and dearest friends have probably seen us at our worst. I have never watched the movie “Love Story” but I do know a quote from it. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” I hate that quote. Love means you do say you’re sorry. Probably should say it a lot if you are human and do a lot of dumb things. It takes effort to ask for forgiveness. It takes effort to forgive. But if the relationship is important then it is something you should do.

I decided years ago that I wasn’t going to put in the time and effort into any relationship that wasn’t two-sided. If the other person wasn’t going to try, neither was I. A relationship is a partnership. It takes two.

No, I don’t have favorites. Every person in my life is here because, well, first, they passed my initial annoyance standard but also because of time and effort. It is that simple.

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