“She needs to toughen up,” my co-worker surmised after sharing a story about her daughter. Apparently, her fourteen year old daughter’s feelings were hurt by a remark her friend said. Her mother told us the remark was not that big of a deal and that her daughter is “too sensitive.”
Too sensitive. I’m aware of that phrase. I have poured out my soul in prayer to my Heavenly Father pleading to toughen up.
But as my co-worker described her daughter I had a new take on it. Perhaps, and stay with my ramblings here, perhaps sensitivity should not be viewed as a character flaw. What if sensitivity is a character strength given to a few souls to make the world a better place? What if it’s our responsibility to bring some tenderness into this hardened place we call home?
Instead of stamping out this God given attribute, what if we are to learn how to share it? True, we need to learn how to cope with this gift. I can understand why the common belief is we need to toughen up. That prevalent belief is for a sensitive’s soul own good. Less heartache that way. But isn’t that forcing someone born with the gift of sensitivity into someone he or she is not? There has got to be a way to be a happy thoughtful soul who shares the gift of tenderness.
Shortly after this conversation, I went to see Disney’s Frozen. (By the way, I recommend this movie. The best Disney animated film I’ve seen since Tarzan) The movie seemed to continue my train of thought. I don’t want to be a plot spoiler so let me just sum up by saying it’s about a girl who can’t use her innate talents and is forced to hide. She becomes somebody she was not meant to be and does not live up to her potential.
Is that what happens to most of us? We are afraid to use our abilities or maybe we don’t understand them so we live half-lives never reaching our full potential. We stamp out our gifts until we conform to the world’s standards. Perhaps we feel if we don’t possess the right talents we are not good enough. In reality, we just need to learn how to use our own gifts.
Anyone willing to weigh in on this?
Want to hear a song from Frozen sung by the character I mentioned?
ck's days 
Yes, I totally agree with you!! I used to be one of those over sensitive little girls and even in my 20’s I was still suffering for being too sensitive to what people said. I’m still a sensitive soul, but I’ve learnt to direct those sensitivities in the right direction – not inwardly, and not take things sooo personal. And that’s when I discovered that being sensitive is valuable to your character, you just need to learn how to use it, and not let it use you! That does take years to learn though – at least for me it did! 🙂
Another thing that is interesting about being sensitive – if a sensitive soul enjoys writing that sensitivity may well be a bonus! I saw an interview about a year ago with a very elderly author called Doris Lessing, she said she felt that people who made the best writers were often people who had suffered to some degree a traumatic childhood, because it made them sensitive to everything that was said and done around them, therefore they observed life in a lot more detail, and that really helps with writing! I don’t think people necessarily need to have suffered trauma to be sensitive, but unfortunately it often goes together. I did have some traumatic events in my childhood, but I think I was born sensitive! 🙂
I suppose we can’t all be the same, it would be a weird world if everyone was super sensitive, but to have no sensitivity would be weird too. This world needs a good balance, and we all learn different things off each other. But allowing each other to be who we are – is just the hardest thing sometimes! 🙂
Okay, for some reason, my computer does not want me to post this comment. This is my fourth attempt. I am going to write it quick and hope for the best!
I think we are here to complement each other as a society. Just like we have one body but each part serves a different function. A hand can not replace a nose but both are very important in what they do. We need sensitive souls and bold souls to help us achieve the greater good. It’s just that we forget. Sometimes the nose looks down at the hand or worse – the hand feels inferior to the nose!
I don’t think it’s just writers that are sensitive. In general, most artists are we just choose different mediums to express ourselves. In my opinion, actors (true actors not just the celebrity wannabes) are very sensitive. They have to be.
Okay, I’m going to quit before this erases again. I hope it makes sense. It did the first, second, and third writing 🙂
Oh no, sound like some of the problems I’ve had with posting comments! Seems to have gone away again now. I copy and paste my comments into notepad, if I start having problems again, saves writing it four times over. Thanks for your persistence though!! 😀
And yes I totally agree, it isn’t just writers that are sensitive. I was just conveying what that author had said about it, and it’s true most people attracted to the artistic side of life are sensitive souls. And I know what you mean about the nose looking down on the hand, it does it often! 😉
I like this. So next time I just start crying and somebody asks me what is wrong, I can just tell them I am expressing my talent the Lord has given me. 😀
Exactly! 🙂