This is the long awaited story of how I finally achieved my 30 likes on my ck’s days Facebook page.  What? It is possible that somebody out there has been waiting for this.  At any rate, the story starts in November when I became tired of seeing the little message on the top of my page every time I logged in.

It intrigued me.  What insights would 30 likes unlock?  It reminded me of Super Mario Brothers.  Just because that’s the last video game I ever played.  If I achieved my thirty likes would I save the princess?  I never really got that far in the actual game.  Oh, this game was so on like Donkey Kong… or, well, Super Mario Bros!

Let me just say, my dad worked for over 50 years as a salesman.  I did not receive any of those genes.  In fact, I hate selling anything – especially myself.  My motto is, to each his own.  But if I wanted to perk up my flat line of 12 likes, I had to step it up.

Up till the time I started on my quest, I labored under the delusion of being witty and writing quality posts.  The little voice in my head had me convinced my audience was just small in number.  That’s why I only received a few likes per status (or worse none.  Obviously, I posted those at the wrong time of day though.  Otherwise, who wouldn’t like my blog posts?!)  I just knew I was an undiscovered genius.

I stayed at 12.

Every once in awhile, I’d get brave and advertise on my wall.  By advertise, I mean beg.  “Check out my Facebook page…”

I spiked to 15.  Oooh, halfway there!

Then my friend deleted her Facebook account and I dropped to 14.  Dang me!  That was the wrong direction.  What if I lost the other 14?  Then I’d have to start all over.  Nope, I could not let that happen.

I decided I had too much of a presence on Facebook.  Instead of posting to my regular wall, I thought it would be more beneficial to post more to my fan page.  And it’s kind of nice because I have a certain amount of anonymity with ck’s days.  Sure, I have a picture on it but it’s a glam photo so nobody recognizes me.  I save my personal wall for, well, more personal posts (as personal as one can get on a social media site anyway).

I also started my Friday memes.  Sometimes I’d get a devil-may-care attitude and post them to my personal wall.  Usually with the status that went, “Please like.”  So, of course, people liked my status not my page.

I told you, I’m not a salesperson.

I became discouraged and decided to be content with 14.  But that message about the perks of 30 likes continued to taunt me.  I’d have fits of bravery and advertise (beg) on my personal wall.  After a few months, I spiked to 20 likes.  They were probably pity likes but surprisingly, I’m okay with that.  The increase gave me the courage to do a full on blitz.  Well, a full on ck blitz.  I invited 10 friends to like my page.  Three accepted.  Through my tears I decided not to take it personal.   No, I didn’t really cry – but I did wonder, “What the hey?”

I continued to post my memes on Friday and an occasional post on my personal wall.  The closer I got to thirty likes the more I wanted to see what it would unlock.  Then I would be happy.

The number increased to 28 and stopped.  Seriously?  Then 29.  Oh, c’mon!

Last Wednesday I received my 30^th like (and not one like more).  This means if anybody decides to unlike my page – I will know.  And I will know who it is.  And that person will receive no small amount of dirty looks from me.

As for the insights unlocked?  I have no problem divulging the secret if that will prevent one person going through what I went through.

I now have access to how many friends my posts “reach.”

There are three kinds of reaches: organic, paid, and viral.  It unlocked access to the insights – it didn’t explain them.  Yeah, I had to Google it to figure it all out.

An organic reach is when someone who liked my page sees my post.  Either on my wall or the ticker.

A viral reach is when someone sees the post because someone else liked or commented on it.   It could be a friend of a friend.

I don’t worry about the paid reach because it doesn’t apply to me.

With this handy-dandy information, I can now tell 26 people see a particular post and 2 like it.  That’s less than 10%.  In the words of my friend JJ, “Well, poop.”  That happiness was short-lived.  The delusion of being an undiscovered genius is pretty much popped.

Way to go, Facebook.