How Did I Manage to Get on Dave’s Bad Side?

Occasionally, I like a good burger. By a good burger I mean some beef (hold the horsemeat please), a nice tomato, some onion, ketchup, and yes, mayonnaise. Please keep the mustard, lettuce (seriously whose idea was it to include green leafy blandness on a slab of meat?) and definitely the cheese away from my burger. When I splurge for a burger I go all the way. French fries with a generous helping of sea salt (that taste remarkably like McD’s fries used to before they got all “healthy.” Big mistake McD’s. Big mistake.) And I wash it all down with a strawberry shake or shake equivalent. What? I told you I’m completely in when I do a burger. Keep in mind I don’t do this every day.

The other day I got a hankering for a burger and the works. But where to go? I decided it’s been awhile since I patronized Wendy’s. I like the burgers there. Usually. I like the fries there. Usually. And Frosty’s are pretty close to shakes. Sure, why not Wendy’s?

Oh yeah, there is only one small problem with Wendy’s. Whenever I go to the local Wendy’s drive-thru I get shortchanged on my order. A missing burger once. A wrong order once. Something always goes wrong. But I’m a smart girl and I can stay one step ahead of an establishment. An establishment that if I were the suspicious type I would swear it had it out for me. Lucky I’m not the paranoid type. Much.

I decided I would just go in and order. So, I went in and placed my order to go. Mind you it was a no make-up day and I was in sweats and a hoodie. I included that just so you appreciate my sacrifice. Even though it’s just a few miles away it’s a huge inconvenience to get all the way home to discover something is missing.  Something that my taste buds worked up a craving for during the ride. Trust me. It’s not pleasant.

So, I was smart and went in. With no makeup and in sweats. In other words, I looked like a bum. But if it meant getting the order right it was worth it.

I ordered three old-fashioned burgers. Maybe I should mention the fact I was picking up burgers for Dad and Bubba, also. I promise I really don’t consume three burgers in one setting.  Three burgers and three fries – sans the shake this time.

Three old-fashioned burgers with no cheese. That’s all I wanted, really.

The very helpful and friendly and, come to think of it, vociferous cashier placed three burgers in bags and I started to walk off. “Wait,” he said loudly to the cook, “did you put cheese on the burgers?”

The cook’s face turned red. I placed the bags back on the counter. Mr. Loud Cashier removed the burgers and I waited for the order to be redone.

Really? They even messed up the order when I went inside? True, at least the mistake was caught before I got home.  But let me ask this, are you still considered paranoid if somebody really is out to get you?  In my case, it’s the fast food restaurant Wendy’s. I apologize for whatever it is I did to get on your bad side. Can’t we be friends again?

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