A Conversation about M&M’s

My oldest niece has the monogram MM. Of course with that built-in born-awesomeness she has adopted M&M candy as her unofficial mascot. So yes, this is a real conversation.  And no, it isn’t weird.
“I like the brown M&M,” she said. “Because she’s smart and sexy.”
“And mean,” I replied.
She raised an eyebrow at me.
I explained the new M&M commercial.

“Oh, I haven’t seen that one yet,” she said and laughed in a fairly disturbing way. My summary of the commercial didn’t alter her opinion about Ms. Brown one little bit.
But it led to a new train of thought. “You know,” she said, “if M&M’s were really that size I don’t think I’d eat them.”
“Or if they walked and talked,” I offered.
“Or if they had white little hands and feet,” she continued.
“Or if they walked and talked,” I repeated slowly. For me, that is the ultimate deal breaker. Anything I can carry on a conversation with is going to stay off my menu.
A new rule of thumb (for us Lees anyway): anyone or anything that is invited to a party as a guest should feel safe enough not to be eaten. At least by the hosts. Because really, we can’t control every guest. I would just hope the guests have enough respect and would wait until after the party before indulging.
This leads me to another question. According to this commercial, poor Red was at the very least nibbled on. Did we witness his murder?! Obviously, this isn’t the first time this has happened. If he wasn’t consumed completely (because that’s a whole lotta chocolate) will he rejuvenate? Will he grow back some more chocolate? Or does he need a choco-patch? How does that work?
Any thoughts on the subject?

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