I am Fine

The other night I had a pretty vivid dream about an old friend.  We haven’t seen each other in a couple of years and apparently the separation weighs on my subconscious. I woke up and thought maybe I could share the experience but make it more universal by making it about a romantic relationship instead of friendship.  Continue reading

The Glimpse

I saw you there,

for just a moment,

before I passed.

You stood by your camper

in the middle of camp

giving instructions

to your family campers.

And for an instant,

a flash,

a thought –

I wonder,

I wonder if

that would have been me

standing by my camper

in the middle of camp

giving instructions

to my family campers.

For just a moment,

I thought I saw

a glimpse

a small peek

into what my life

would have been like

if I would have said

yes

twenty some years ago.

Would I,

could I have been

standing by my camper

in the middle of camp

giving instructions

to my family campers?

But the thought wisped away

like smoke from a dying fire.

If I had said yes,

I reminded myself,

twenty years ago

I probably would still not be

standing by my camper

in the middle of camp

giving instructions

to my family campers.

I would still be alone

driving down this road

because there was no

hesitation twenty years ago

behind the decline –

so why should there be

hesitation now?

I am in the right place.

 

Oh yeah.

Sometimes I forget

and I long for the day

I’m standing by my camper

in the middle of camp

giving instructions

to my family campers.

© 2014 ck’s days

 

shoulda, woulda, coulda

I saw you sitting there

and it just ain’t fair.

The museum must have lost a piece of art

when you walked out and stole my heart.

So…

I should walk right over

It would start our forever

We could be together

I just bet.

Instead I have this regret –

I shoulda,

woulda,

coulda…

but didn’t.

© 2013 ck’s days

No Regrets!

“No regrets!” that’s the naive mantra of youth.  At one time in my life, more than a decade ago, it was my motto, also.  To live a life with no regret is synonymous with living life to the fullest and always making the right choice.  Or, at least, being content with the decisions you make.  Regret means to “feel sorry for something” (Word dictionary).  The ingenuous of youth looks at this definition and thinks, “It’s wrong to feel sorrow.”

To live a life with no regrets is only possible in one of two ways:

One, you always make the right choice.  You never, ever make a wrong decision.  This is technically impossible.  You will make the wrong choice from time to time.  If you’re foolhardy enough to never second guess yourself, well, bully for you!  But that doesn’t mean you choose wisely in every decision that you make.

Two, you never learn better.  You remain locked in a state of immaturity that never lets you gain wisdom.  I wish there was a better way to learn than by trial and error.  But sometimes, there isn’t.  Some things you do will work.  Some won’t.  It’s a part of life.  But to never regret or feel sorrow for making a wrong decision, that implies a prideful will too stubborn to see error.  Personally, I don’t want to be that kind of person.

I am going to continue to make mistakes.  Some I will recognize instantly and others other time.  In both cases I may feel the pangs of regret.  But that’s okay because it shows I’m growing and getting wiser.  The youth can keep their infallibility and boldly declare, “No regrets!”   As for me, I prefer the wisdom that comes from penitence.