Please sir, can I have some more?

/ cksdays / Leave a comment

Budget:   a plan specifying how resources, especially time or money, will be allocated or spent during a particular period (Encarta Dictionary).

I am not what you would call a good budgeter.  It’s not that I’m a bad budgeter – unless by bad you mean entirely not budgeting then, yes, I am pretty horrible.  The thing is I believe in budgets.  I believe in living within my means.  I believe in being resourceful and thrifty.  In theory.  When it comes to practice, well, let’s just leave it at that. 

Naturally, I have an excuse.  I didn’t say I have a reason – only an excuse.  And here’s my justification that really is more of a rationalization but that is okay because someday I’m sure it will be my vindication:  I hate math.  I try to figure out a budget but when I look at numbers all I see is ^&*()*^%$##.  And that makes no sense, right?

Since I know budgets are so important (and getting increasingly so) I have made certain rules.  I don’t spend more than $3 per lunch at work.  Why I decided $3 is my limit, I’m not sure.  But I’m proud as punch when I find deals for $2.50.  I feel just like an efficient budgeter. 

I’m not going to lie.  A $3.00 meal means making sacrifices.  Like sometimes I forgo taste. Usually, however, I lose out on satiating my hunger.  Those Lean Cuisines are always a bargain buy.  But I have discovered the reason is because I can eat a whole cuisine in three bites.   I have to refrain from licking the tray in an attempt to get just a little more. 

I have found the two pizzas in a box fit inside my pseudo-budget quite nicely.  One box can feed me for two lunches.  Sort of.  While I’m heating a pizza in the microwave my co-workers will comment how good it smells.  Then the buzzer goes off and they look at my little round disc.  That’s usually when I get asked, “Do you want some of my lunch?”

“No, thanks,” I say stoically.  “This is just right.”  But that’s a lie.  Today I spent almost five minutes scraping off the melted cheese from the cardboard. 

When I got home I was so hungry that I treated myself to McDonald’s.  And no, I did not order off the dollar menu.  

So much for my pseudo-budget.

There Could be a Possible Story Here

/ cksdays / 4 Comments

Today was extremely busy and I just got home.  So… no typical blog tonight.  I know, I know, you’re disappointed.  Keep your chin up, there’s always tomorrow.

However, I do want to introduce a character that came knocking on my imagination today.  Normally when I write stories, I get the story first and then the character.  That hasn’t worked out very well for me.  Today the character arrived first and I’m waiting for him to tell me his story. 

Henry  Luck, a drifter and gambler, came from somewhere and is sitting on the oversized sofa in a corner of my brain.  What?  Doesn’t everyone have furniture in their heads?  Just me?  Shucks.  Odd again.

Anyway, Henry’s been sitting there all day and his story is slowly coming into view.  He could just be hiding out from his best friend/nemesis Cooper J. Darwin.  Cooper is always trying to throw Henry in jail and get rid of him.  Why?  A woman of course.  Rebekah Rion (pronounced Ryan) Radcliffe is the person who came between the two.  I’m not sure how the love triangle played out.  Henry has been reluctant to open up. 

Maybe I’ll be able to share their story with you someday.

Miniatures Make the World Better

/ cksdays / 3 Comments

I’ve always loved miniatures.  A screwdriver is just a screwdriver unless it’s a tiny one.  Then I must confiscate it.  And I would.  Mom used to have a little screwdriver, I guess for glasses or just really tiny screws.  Whenever I’d see it I’d take it.  There’s this motto that everyone in my life should get used to.  The motto is, “If it’s a teeny-tiny (fill in the blank) it’s Corina’s,” because it is or it will be as soon as I make it so.   I will take it.  If the tiny screwdriver was missing, she would look for it in my room and find it.  She’d put it away until I’d find it and again remove it to a better place (my room).

Continue reading →

a few thoughts regarding a closetful of clothes

/ cksdays / Leave a comment

A closetful of clothes –

Hanging at attention.

Dresses

                Sweaters

                                Sweatshirts

                                                T-shirts

                                                                Pants.

A place for everything –

Was your motto.

Now a new place for

Everything.

Donations –

To the thrift store

You volunteered at.

I make it clear

These are your clothes

As if you were a one-name celebrity.

You were to me. 

I didn’t give everything –

I kept a few things for myself.

Sweaters for substitute hug tokens.

And other items,

                Just because they are cute.

A pair of shoes –

To run around in

and save my expensive pair.

Still in good shape.

Not a perfect fit –

                An indication of how swollen your feet became.

So they fit a little loose.

A reminder

                I can’t fill your shoes.

                I shouldn’t even try.

It’s not right –

It’s not expected –

                To wear 2 pairs of shoes

                At the same time.

We each have our own pair

To wear on our own path.

My shoes fit me just right.

But I’ll still borrow yours from

time to time,

And remember your path.

Did You Know They Took the Word Gullible Out of the Dictionary?

/ cksdays / Leave a comment

My boss recently gave a co-worker two stickers for a job well done.  It was in done in jest, of course.  Two smiley-face stickers my co-worker stuck on the collars of her shirt.  The co-worker pretended to be indifferent but there was a little swag in her step that day.

“No one ever pays me in stickers,” I whined as homage to the Trident Layers commercial.   The joke fell flat.  But the sentiment was heard.

The next day when I arrived to work, my computer monitor was wrapped with cellophane with every sticker in my boss’s arsenal stuck on it.  That was pretty good.

The truth is I like pranks.  I especially like pulling them.  When another co-worker left for vacation, I turned everything at her work-station upside down.  Memos on the bulletin board.  Pictures in their frames.  The calendar. 

When another co-worker left on vacation, I switched the contents of her drawers around.  That one was pushing it a bit because she is a supervisor.  That was the last prank I pulled at the office.

But my brother and I have a pretty good give-and-take.  When I returned home from my mission, I found flyers hanging in our small local airport with a picture of me.  The picture was an unflattering pose of me in a dryer.  The gist of the caption had me looking for a date.

Don’t worry.  It took a few years but I returned the favor.  I superimposed his teenage photos into several scenes from famous movies and television shows (he was in Peter Brady’s square for the Brady Bunch).  That was posted on a web-site and I sent the address to all his friends in church.  Good times.  Good times.

It’s time for a good prank.  As long as I don’t fall for one first.  As much as I love teasing you’d think I’d be pretty discerning.  Nope.  I’m about as gullible as they come.  Embarrassingly so. 

So you see, I must pull a doozy of a prank.  And I need a target.  I’m open to suggestions.

I Think I’ll Spend Some Time Outside Tomorrow. Away from the tv and computer.

/ cksdays / 3 Comments

photo courtesy google.comIn case you missed it, I’ve been sick since Monday.  I even had to stay home from work Tuesday and half-a-day Wednesday.  My evenings have been spent glued to my recliner.  It all comes down to this:  I watched A LOT of media this week.  Not just my normal nighttime stuff, but extra daytime and early evening viewing as well. 

I feel like the Intersect has been downloaded to my brain.  Don’t understand?  I feel like I’ve been hijacked with tracker-jacker venom and I’m trying to distinguish between what’s real and not.  If you are still clueless, let me try one more time.  I’ve watched a lot of mind-numbing television and surfed the internet for hours. In the process, I learned things I didn’t want to know.

Here’s a few gems from this week’s media overload.

As if once wasn’t enough, the 80mph wife and jerk-husband cycled again this week.  This time the viral video was “enhanced” with Erik Estrada.  You might notice I didn’t put a link to this video.  That’s because I hate it.  Your next question might be, “Well, why do you keep watching it and posting about it?”  First, I didn’t watch the whole thing (again), and second, I WAS SICK.  With a fevered brain I might add.  

This clip reminded me of a few things to be grateful for.  The husband again reminded me that there are worse things than being single.   As for Mr. Estrada?  I think it’s a sad, sad commentary on our society when even fake cops can’t retire.  Do you think he keeps a CHiPS suit hanging in his closet for just-in-case moments such as this?  If so, how often does he whip it out?   And the ever-increasing creepy question, when do you think he uses it? 

Okay, new subject.  Quick!

Alicia Silverstone made news this week.  You remember, the girl from Clueless.  Apparently, she chews her food for her 10 month old son and then feeds him mama bird style.  It never ends well for a kid when a mom learns parenting techniques by watching Animal Planet.  Personally, I still remember the horror of heading to church as a child and my mother looking at my face.  “You didn’t wash your face?”  She asked incredulously.  With one swift motion her two fingers went into her mouth and wiped off my face.  The technical term for it was cat-bath.  My personal name for it was, “Ick. Gross!”  The baby bird thing tops the cat bath.

It’s been awhile since I’ve watched Entertainment Tonight.  I have a couple of questions.  Where’s Mary Hart?  And who’s the guy with the Scottish accent?  I might have to start watching more often.  Anyway, the entertainment guru pointed out that Jennifer Lawrence, the star of the Hunger Games, apparently doesn’t wash her hands after using the facilities.  She called it “overrated” and claimed that the sink is full bacteria (as opposed to what’s on her hands after using the restroom?).  I had to investigate this further.  Apparently, it’s only public restrooms and the actress is already crying the “out of context” defense.  I hope it was taken out of context.  I really, really hope so.

Megan Fox.  Oh, Megan, Megan.  I don’t normally keep up with Megs since she has never done anything remotely interesting to me.  However, since I had time on my hand and a mouse bent on surfing, I did find this gem of a quote, “I would not trade my place with an unattractive girl.”  All I have to say is what a relief!  I can’t count how many nights I lied awake wondering what would happen if she came knocking and wanted all of this.  What would I be left with?  Brian Austin Green and her talent?  What? Too mean?  Don’t throw cake statements at us commoners and not expect the guillotine.    Someone in her inner-circle needs to pull her aside and whisper two words to her: Kelly Lebrock.  In response, Megan would reply, “Who?”  Exactly.

Maybe someone already has because I noticed her back-pedaling retraction came out hours ago.  Her statement was – you guessed it – taken out of context.  Maybe, and I’m just throwing it out there as a suggestion, maybe actors should use written scripts for their interviews.

Now for a little fun fact that made me laugh.  I actually heard this on NPR today at work.  Yes, when there are witnesses around I listen to NPR and save my ET viewing for when I’m at home alone.  Scientists are doing studies to discover why spiders don’t stick to their own webs.  I missed the whole purpose to this segment.  I’m sure it’s important.  Anyway, among one of the methods for studying is washing the spiders’ legs off.  Who gets that job?  And how hard is it to wash those little tiny legs without detaching them from the body?

And finally, what blog review of this week would be complete without mentioning the $640,000,000 lottery.  The optimists are snatching up tickets.  The rest of us are pointing out little stats the smarty-pants-stats men and women are figuring out for us.  Such as:  you are more likely to be struck by lightning than winning.  Or getting two holes-in-one during one game.  Or, my personal favorite, you’re 100 times more likely to die of a flesh eating bacteria.  But buena suerte to you!  Or, may the odds be ever in your favor.  

I think I better de-tech this weekend.