Satan sat at his desk doing paperwork. He hated paperwork but unfortunately, if he was going to destroy the world and every living creature, it was going to take planning. A key quality of his he boasted of every chance he was given was that he was intelligent. So he knew that planning something as grand as the end of an entire world would take careful planning. Planning required paperwork. Which meant he still had work to do even though he was tired and would like to call it a day.
“Sir,” a rather high-pitched voice squeaked. “Do you have a minute, sir?”
No, Satan never has a minute. All his time is devoted to his entire plan. “What is it?” He growled without looking up.
“It’s just, sir,” the voice said nervously as a small minion approached him, “I have been looking over the reports and I…I have my doubts about the plan.”
Satan looked up quickly and narrowed his eyes on the pitiful creature. How dare anyone, especially someone so near to him, doubt his plan. He had studied it. He had thought about it. It was his plan. It was perfect. How could there be any doubt?
“It’s just that,” the nervous dark angel went on quickly and placed the report he was looking at on his master’s desk. “The probability of all these steps coming together with such a small army seems rather daunting. I mean,” he knew he had a short window to make his point, “it all hinges on one thing.”
Satan’s breaths shortened as he looked at the report his young follower had placed on his desk covering his own paperwork.
“What if the people don’t take the bait?” There. The minion had said it. He had looked over the plan and studied it and in his own opinion it would never succeed. There was no way the people on Earth would fall for such a simple ploy.
Satan slammed his hand on his desk. The audacity of the fool. But the more he examined the young fellow the more his face relaxed. The ambition, the overreach of the young one reminded him of himself. While he was careful not to reward such behavior he couldn’t help but almost smile at the similarity. That moment passed quickly though. He would explain his plan to the young demon because he liked explaining his brilliance to an audience. Then he would cast his foolish servant out to serve the remainder of his time in some dark corner of the world where he would never see him again. More than that, the young one would never be around people again and there is no happiness for a dark angel if it can’t spread misery.
“The plan,” Satan said coolly, “is foolproof. I have developed it after spending time with people. I will know exactly what they will do.”
He stood up and walked to a globe. After studying it a moment he spun it around quickly and turned to face the young minion. The minion receiving the full attention of his boss suddenly wished he had never come into the office.
“The first thing we will do,” Satan said in a smooth tone, “is teach them about want. We will blur the line between want and need. Not just a want for material things but want for power. Always a want for pleasure. We will let the sparkle of gems light their eyes. The lust of their souls carry them to unhealthy decisions. The power of influence drive their governments. Once we teach them this word we will sit back and let them go to work.
“They will build caste systems that can’t be maintained. They will develop kingdoms with a blood price tag. They will evolve governments to feed power. They will go about destroying themselves just because we taught them one little word.”
“Yes,” the minion knew he was in it now there was no turning back, “but surely this will not last. They will come to their senses and stop all this silliness.”
“You give them too much credit. This stage will last for much longer than you think possible.”
The dark angel looked down.
“But,” Satan said and the young demon looked up again, “when the time is right we will whisper another word. The second word will start the next round of misery.”
“One word?” The minion asked.
“One word,” he leaned closer to the minion and whispered, “unfair.”
“We will whisper that word and they won’t understand it.” He smiled a sickly grin. “They have this silly misconception about the word fairness that we will use to our advantage. Right when they have things in such an unbalanced state we will whisper the word unfair to them.”
“What’s the next round after that?”
“There is no other round. That’s it. Our job will be done. We will get them in the overcompensation. It will rain down souls to us. All we need to do is teach them those two words at the right time. Want and unfair.” He paused thinking over his glorious plan and smiled. It has been said a smile relaxes others and puts them at ease. Unless the devil is smiling. Then it sends chills and warnings to those who witness it. This was no different. He finished his thought, “They will do all the work for us.”
The young minion still had his doubts but he knew the interview was over. Satan had willingly gone over his brilliant plan and would not discuss the matter any further.
The young demon nodded his head and turned to leave.
Satan spoke, “My young friend, enjoy your time at the bottom of the sea.” With that the young minion found himself in the bottom of the Pacific Ocean for the remainder of time.
Satan went back to his work. Now, he would get home even later. Why do bad things always happen to him?