There is a common notion these days that we are independent creatures. “Live your life” as you want to or need to. Yes, I agree this is quite compelling. Yes, I agree that no one should live their life based on another person’s ideals or worse, wants. You need to live your life to the best of your ability and according to the dictates of your own conscience. But, you have to realize there is a caveat to that. A life filled with love means you are not truly as independent as you think. Your actions will affect others.
Now, to be clear. I am not talking about relationships of manipulation or abuse. Those relationships have an entirely different dynamic than what I’m referring to here. I am talking about honest to goodness love relationships. True love. Healthy, mature, loving individuals.
The thing is we strive for independence. Since we are young that is the goal in life. To become independent, free-thinking adults who don’t rely on others. We can make our own choices. Achieve our own goals. Be our own person. To that I agree whole heartedly. I would even add in a “go get ’em!” for good measure.
But here is the thing. We are not truly self-reliant, autonomous creatures. Truthfully, if we are, in fact, living a love-filled life then we are attached to each other. Much like the wood wide web that joins trees at the roots we are actually much more connected than we like to think.
For some, this might be a rather aggravating thought. Maybe the appreciation of this fact comes with maturity.
Yes, live your life to the fullest. Make choices on what’s right for you. But if you are in any kind of loving relationship – whether it be as a couple or in a family or close friends – you should show some consideration for those people. I’m not saying you need to alter your plans but respect your relationship enough to recognize your actions may affect those people. They may not agree with you at times and (despite what we are currently being taught) that’s okay. They don’t need to agree with you. But be respectful enough to realize they feel connected to you and have some investment in your future.
Trust me when I say, this is not a bad thing. If you are fortunate enough to be with someone who is hopeful about your future be thankful. If you feel the effects of another person’s so-called bad life choices be grateful. To be that connected with other people is probably the objective in life.
2 thoughts on “Love means that yes, we are connected”
Good observation that we are not self-reliant, autonomous creatures. I like how trees aren’t either.
That’s something I picked up from PBS! (About the trees). I don’t usually have the attention span required to watch Nature or Nova (though I try). I usually fall asleep 😴