I have one goal every Monday morning at 8:00. One objective to motivate me to get out of bed after the alarm goes off (many, many times). That one thing? Friday afternoon. I could be more specific and say lately it has been the discovery of glorious Friday afternoon naps. But that sounds like I just celebrated my 31st 29th instead of my 11th. So, let’s just say my favorite time of the week is when I clock out from work on Friday and walk down the hall toward the door.
That’s just who I am.
But the weekends always seem to fly by faster than the rest of the week. And I’ve tried them every way to find the secret to make them last longer. I’ve been busy. I’ve traveled. I’ve been lazy. Nothing works. They always go twice as fast. Of course, it could be because weekends only consist of 2.5 days. The rest of the week is 4.5 days. Yes, I’ve put a lot of thought into this. Perhaps, too much thought.
At any rate, I do what I can to prolong the weekend experience. Including staying up late Saturday night. At 10:00 I look at the clock and wince. At 11:00 I find a movie to become interested in. It doesn’t matter if the movie has been on a thousand times already and I always flipped past it. It’s amazing how interesting movies look at 11:00 Saturday night.
And yes, Hallmark movies I’m looking at you.
On Tuesday, my young women discussed how cheesy Hallmark movies are. I agreed. I think my exact quote went along the lines of, “They are predictable. And the music is always so obtrusive.” Which is absolutely true. But I added under my breath, “But I still watch them.” Especially on Saturday nights.
Last Saturday at 10:00 I started my normal routine. I looked at the clock and my innards seemed to shout, “NOOOOO!” And I frantically started flipping through channels looking for an excuse not to go to bed. It didn’t have to be a good one. And Hallmark didn’t let me down.
Maybe you have never watched a Hallmark movie. Let me explain the premise. [Insert character here] is caught up in the big city life. Until one reason he/she finds himself/herself in a small town. Through the course of two hours, the character learns the evils of big cities and the virtues of small town life. I’m not sure the vendetta Hallmark has with big cities but it sure wages a consistent campaign.
If we’re talking about Hallmark movies we can’t forget the romance. The character always finds love in the small town. The movie ends with the character living in a small town with the love of his/her life.
And yes, that’s every Hallmark channel movie. Ever.
The problem with watching the movies on Saturday night though – I mean, other than wasting two hours of my life – is I sleep through my first few alarms on Sunday morning. I have had to attempt to do the late-shame-of-sneak in to church. It never works. Anytime someone walks in through the doors everyone in the back half of the chapel looks.
On Sunday morning the Late family walked in ahead of me. You know, everyone has the Late family in their congregation. The one family you can judge your lateness by. “Yes, I might have missed the announcements but I still made it before the Lates.”
I watched them walk in while I parked my car. My response? “Curse you Hallmark!”
That’s right. I’m blaming Hallmark for this.