I recently discovered my journal I wrote in 1995.  After flipping through its pages I said a prayer of gratitude.  I am so very, very thankful Facebook – or any form of social media – was not around in 1995.  Whew!   I’m sure instead of venting in a private journal I would have shared – overshared – because that’s what geniuses do.   See, in 1995 I labored under the mistaken notion that I was some kind of undiscovered and untapped smarty pants.  Now eighteen years later I can assure you that was not the case.  I also discovered my claim of being a “much better speller before spell check” is completely unfounded.

Here are a couple of gems though:

February 21, 1995 (I taught my niece Nic when she was a Sunbeam (3 -4 years old) in church).

“Last week our lesson was about the Holy Ghost.  I asked the kids to draw a picture of something that had to do without lesson.  Then they had to tell about it.  First, Nic drew a picture and I asked her what it was.

‘My mom and dad.’

‘Well, what does your mom and dad have to do with the Holy Ghost?’

‘Well,’ pause, ‘they killed him.’

Ok, try again.

‘What about this down here?’ I pointed to some separate scribbling.

‘That’s a tie.’

‘What does that have to do with the Holy Ghost?’

‘It’s His tie.’

‘What about this?’

‘A hat.’

I am starting to wise up, ‘and whose hat is it?’

‘His hat.’

“You think she needs a new teacher? But when she got home and her parents asked her what she had learned, her reply to them was along the lines of:

‘About the Holy Ghost.  He guides us and helps us – he’s not mean’.”

Looking back, that kind of defines our relationship.

Another entry from January 23 –

“Tomorrow is Bubba’s 2nd birthday.  What a charmer she already is.  A boy CC (her mother) babysits (henceforth known as G-Man) was being a stinker to Nic (he’s about the same size as Nic).  Little Bubba got in between them and pushed him up against the wall.  Her mom caught her but Bubba managed to squeeze in a couple more pushes before [physically] being separated.”

I also found this poem I wrote for her second birthday:

“On a Wyoming winter’s day

a special spirit came our way.

From the moment of her first cry

she forever changed dreams and lives.

How empty our lives must have been

without our Krista Lyn.

In her dark eyes there is steady spark

a power not seen beating with her heart.

At the tip of her fingers the world spins

her lips always spread in a wide grin.

Nothing seems to be able to slow her –

and there is an angel on her shoulder.

A soul full of fire and mirth

proving to us what life is worth.

A special soul borrowed from heaven

dancing eyes reminding of the precious gift given.

With her first heartbeat our lives began again –

I don’t know how I lived without Krista Lyn!”

It appears I have successfully saved the redeeming entries from 1995.  I now think this journal can disappear.  For good.

2 thoughts on “1995

  1. The one good thing about keeping old journals, at least you can see how far you’ve moved on – hopefully in a good way! I was looking at my first diary yesterday, one I started when I was 16 in 1984. Mm… there are some very embarrassing points of view in there, and some badly taken pictures, and few surprisingly good poems, but they need a little edit! And the spelling – well, lets not mention the spelling!

    I have to admit I was a little tearful at the way some of those photos were yellowing with age, and also I found a real Pound Note, which I had put in there when they changed the design to a new one – it’s looking antique now, and notes for £1 have gone for good, just a coin now! And I started that diary for the 45 year old me, so I would remember who I used to be, but the 45 year old me doesn’t appreciate it as much as the 16 year old me thought she would!! 😀

    I thought “Am I really that old!?” It seems I am – but at least I’ve moved on, and it’s nice to visit the the memories of a little girl that is no more – occasionally! 😉

  2. Good foresight for including memorabilia with your journal. I wish I had included some different articles. Apparently, I was too busy lamenting my hard life. The fun entries are when I commented on my nieces (now 22 and 20). I lived with my brother’s family at this time so they are featured quite a bit.
    I guess when I look at my current journal 18 years from now I’ll probably have the same thoughts. “What was I thinking?!”
    As you said, it’s a good way to monitor progress 🙂

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