Ode to the English Language

Ah, the English tongue!  Better start young to learn all the rules they teach in schools.

For example, here’s a sample: i before e except after c.

That explains why receive looks different than relieve.

But that’s just step number one – are you ready to have some fun?

They’re, their, and there can be confusing.

Reading their instead of there can be amusing.

A handy tip to share:

Ownership is their.

This there is a where.

They are is a broken down they’re.

Got it? Try and say:  They’re their own pair there, aren’t they?

Here’s another rule to make you look cool:

To say you are don’t forget the apostrophe!

Otherwise, your your is possessive, silly.

As if in: You’re not your twin?

If you haven’t had enough we can cover some more stuff.

To, too, and two are quite the crew.

Easy two is a number.

But to and too encumber.

Too is a measure or indeed or also.

Use to for everything else you know.

Is it too much to ask that you take it to task and make two masks?

This poem can go on and on, the list of rules is quite long.

Let’s review what to do:

Once you receive it, you may toot your horn but not too late over there.

Believe it, because you’re not to toot after two if they’re not in their lair.

Still have a question? Here’s the last one:

It will mar the jar if you keep it in the car. Even if you are a star it would mean war!

Careful old timer, that last one is not a rhymer.

This should make a few things crystal clear. After all, this is the English language, my dear!


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