Unless you are some kind of super human I’m going to assume you have some kind of weakness. A vulnerable spot. Something you just don’t have much confidence in. I’m going to share a secret with you. Maybe you already know it but for those that don’t here it is: the best way to build confidence is by accomplishment.
Kudos if you already know this and constantly work on building self-confidence. It took me years and various pursuits for me to realize this. Much like the country singer Johnny Lee who was “lookin for love in all the wrong places” I looked for confidence in all the wrong places.
Wrong is a strong word. Maybe not wrong as much as ineffective places. Here are a few things I have learned.
Flattery from other people is like filling my gas tank up to half-full when I am making a trip out of town. It doesn’t last long. It’s a short-time boost. Confidence doesn’t come from other people.
Trying to talk myself into confidence is like telling myself I am 5’4” instead of 5’2”. As much chatter as I say to convince myself I am still me. I still see the short-comings despite what I tell myself.
No, the best way for me to feel confident is to accomplish something. It can start small and then progress. The key is to finish what I started otherwise that self-talk will defeat me.
Here is the thing. If you are trying to boost your self-image put the self-help books down and set a goal. Not an impossible goal but an achievable goal.
Take a class and learn a skill.
Do a puzzle with more pieces than you usually do.
Go to a restaurant and eat alone.
Say hello to a neighbor.
Have a small get-together.
Sky dive (tandem style makes it a rather quick accomplishable goal).
Write a story.
The list goes on and it should be personable to you. The examples worked for me.
The point is to accomplish a task and when you finish it do another. If each goal is slightly progressive in nature you, of course, will continue to progress. Isn’t that the point of life, to progress and grow?
You can keep throwing money at self-help books. You can keep trying to gain accolades from other people. You can keep trying to talk yourself into having confidence. When it comes down to it, your actions will be the best booster. Set a goal today and then follow through. Trust me on this.