This is a topic I have pondered quite a bit and have already shared some thoughts regarding. But my thoughts are a work in progress and are continually being fine-tuned with new experiences and insights. So once again, here I am pondering on the subject of love. Specifically what it is and what it isn’t. For what it’s worth, this is where I am currently at in 2020 and my thoughts on that elusive yet prevalent topic of love.

Define love

First off, I think love is misunderstood. It is easily confused with passion. While passion may lead to love and maybe at times can be an early stage of love it needs to remain in a separate category. Keep in mind, when I am referring to love I have the whole spectrum in mind not just the narrow romantic love that tends to overshadow the definition. For this post though, I will be looking specifically at romantic love because that is the one that is so severely misinterpreted with sometimes dire consequences.

Happily ever after does not mean what you think

Now, I have always been a romantic at heart. In my youthful hopeful days I read and watched many a romance story and overlooked a lot of flags just hoping the guy and gal would get their “happily ever after.” That makes a fine story but not always the case in real life. After all, real life has no ending. It just keeps going. Maybe that’s on us though. Maybe we misunderstood “happily ever after” to imply no problems. Maybe though the fairytale writers weren’t that naive. They could have been saying “yes, life isn’t perfect, it threw some curveballs at our heroes but they face those problems together and figured them out with honest communication and a lot of hard work.” I think that is what lies behind the “happily ever after” tag.

Falling in love with falling in love

Another problem we face today is a proliferation of stories sharing versions of love. Really, it’s all over the place and to be honest, a good love story makes the story better. At least in my book. I may not be as naive as I once was but I still get hooked on a good romance. With so many stories facing us daily in a variety of formats (not just in books and plays) we can get overloaded on so many mixed notions. Until we lose the semblance of true love. For those who take their cues by observing others what does love look like? There are those that fall in love with the idea of being in love. They want so much to get to that level that they overlook a lot of things that should not be overlooked. This only creates problems down the road. Falling in love with falling in love is not sustainable. To quote Annie’s friend and voice of reason Becky in Sleepless in Seattle, “That’s your problem, you don’t want to be in love, you want to be in love in a movie.”

I’m not saying there are no real love stories out there in the world. I know that there are. Perhaps you have examples that you could share. All I’m saying is love is often misunderstood, misinterpreted, and miscommunicated. So be careful out there in your pursuit for true love. And I wish you the very best.