We were talking. The three of us. Actually, true to form, the two of them were talking and I half listened and half zoned out. That’s what happens when there are more than two to a conversation – I tune out and become bored. Somehow though, the conversation shifted to me.
“And what do you want to do?” she asked.
“Well,” I said trying to make things light. “I used to want to be a teacher.”
Silence.
“But I discovered I don’t like kids.” I laughed at my attempt at humor. Neither one joined me in the laughter.
“That’s good,” she said nodding her head in all seriousness, “they’d walk all over you.”
Wait, what?
During our brief time together she had sized me up. Summed me up. And determined I couldn’t do it.
And I, I believed her.
I’m not blaming her for the fact I stayed away from teaching but I haven’t forgotten her voice. It comes to me every time I share a lesson. It even comes to me when I have to do a hard task whatever it might be; anything that tests my capabilities. This conversation took place about 18 years ago and I still remember it. I have trouble remembering what I did yesterday let alone years ago. So yeah, this left a mark and weighed a little more heavily on my heart than I should have let it.
The truth is my first impressions are horrible. I recognize that. I really am more of an acquired taste. A slow start. Please don’t sum me up based on our first visit. Or our second. Or even our third. As for me, I will try to do the same for you. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and if I happen to doubt, I hope I have the good sense to keep it to myself.
ck's days 
Some people have a way of making a lasting impression, not necessarily a nice one either. 😦 I have had this kind of thing too. On one occasion, I had a doctor tell me quite in a vicious tone of voice, if I didn’t have a second go of surgery on a wound that hadn’t healed I’d still have it when I reached menopause. I was eighteen, and he was being arrogant. It’s not really something you want hear someone say at any age, and certainly not at eighteen. I was concerned about getting an infection in the wound if I had more surgery on it, which is always a risk, plus the recovery was going to be long and painful with no promises of a cure at the end of it. I didn’t want to risk things getting worse, not better. I had my opinions on what I wanted to do (find alternative therapy) and he didn’t like a young woman having her own mind. I wish I could go back and show him the nice neat scar of where the wound use to be, just to make myself feel better about how bad his arrogant attitude made me feel. I went home in floods of tears that day, I felt doomed, all for no reason at all. The wound did heal with time and no need for unnecessary surgery and pain. Some people, the damage they cause, if only they could stand back and see themselves. 😦
By the way, children walk all over confident teachers as well, so in way she was probably right, but not because you weren’t capable, but because it happens. Teaching can be very hard. I’m sure experiences varies from one school, and one teacher to another.
I don’t know why some words get to us and we remember them. Yet other words are forgotten. It’s too bad you can’t track that dr down. But, even if you did, his arrogance would probably lend to a different recall. History is relative.
Glad it worked out for you!