The Legend of Harvey’s Tomb

imageFor the record, I do not like to be scared.  It doesn’t take much; I’ve been known to jump when somebody walks into my office and says hello.  Just walk in not jump or holler or even say “Boo!”  I’ll admit I’m a bit skittish.

 

Scary movies are out of the question.  My older sister, MZ, always loved scary, intense movies and could watch them.  And then go to bed!  I was not blessed with that ability.  If I watched a scary movie, I couldn’t sleep for at least a week.  One time MZ watched “Poltergeist,” and I tried to be brave and stay in the room.  (Though when my mom questioned me after two weeks of not being able to fall asleep, I tried to play innocent and said, “I didn’t know what she was watching.”)  I didn’t watch it, but I heard it.  Or enough of it anyway.  I couldn’t fall asleep with the tv on until I was well into my twenties.

My brother, let me emphasize my older brother, has taken advantage of my jumpiness on more than one occasion.  The house we grew up in is conveniently located near the cemetery.  In the cemetery next to the fence is an old family tomb with the name “Harvey” engraved on it.  Next to the tomb is an exact copy in a much smaller size (rumor has it for Harvey’s dog).  According to local lore, if a person knocks on the big tomb’s door and circles it three times, something or someone inside will knock back.

Apparently, my brother, RH, and his friend JO were fairly bored one summer day.  Bored enough that they let me tag along on their adventures.  RH is seven years older than me and has always been my hero so for me to be included, I was on cloud 9.75.  We went on a bike ride to the cemetery, them on their ten-speeds and me on my newly minted two-wheel bike.

This is when I heard the legend of Harvey’s Tomb for the first time.  And of course, my brother dared me to perform the ritual.  Because he was my audience I had to do it.  But I had to dig deep to find the courage to follow through.  I really didn’t want to be in the cemetery at that moment, I wanted to be home where I didn’t have to worry about thing in tombs that knocked back.  But I knocked.  And I ran around once.  Nothing.

“Run around again,” my brother urged with what I now know was a devilish grin.

I knocked a little softer and ran around again.  Nothing.

“One more time,” my brother said.

I took a deep breath then knocked quickly and ran around for the third time.

“Listen,” RH said and leaned toward the door.   I followed his lead and put my ear on the door.

Suddenly, RH yelled, “RUN!”

He didn’t have to tell me twice.  I was on my bike and pedaling toward the gate before he got the “N” out.   When I got to the gate I figured it was far enough away from danger to rendezvous.  But RH and JO were nowhere to be found.  They were on their own because there was no way I was going back in for them.  If they didn’t make it out, I guess I’d get RH’s room.

But they made it out.  And my brother was laughing at me.  “You should have seen your face!”  He said while holding his side.  “I’ve never seen anyone pedal so fast.”  And as family stories never die, this one still surfaces from time to time.  Usually during a big, family dinner.  RH laughs when he recalls, “All we could see was dust from CK’s little bike.”

If I Were Cast in The Office I’d Be…

I used to watch The Office faithfully every Thursday night.  I even watched it when it was a struggling newcomer.  It appealed to me because of the job I had at that time. 

I watched as Angela fussed with the thermostat.  The next day at work, I watched as PT fussed with the thermostat.  She turned and looked at all of us with a glare warning us to not touch it again.  Her reaction wasn’t as funny as Angela’s. 

I watched the episode where Michael has to take the sexual harassment class.  My boss at the time disclosed an inappropriate story I’m still working hard to forget.  Again, not so funny.

Then I switched jobs.  And I got cast into the show.  Sure, I like to picture myself as Pam.  Nice, normal Pam.  I took a Facebook Quiz once and it said I was Pam.  We all know how reliable that information is so I didn’t press it.  No retakes for me. 

However, I began to have my doubts that I wasn’t Pam.  A sinking feeling that I am actually somebody else in The Office.  And then I laughed when I realized who I am. 

I am charm-type!

Famous Folk Here in Wyo

I live in Smalltown, Wyoming.  Nothing exciting happens here.  Unless you think looking out your window and seeing a buck lying in your backyard is exciting.  Yeah, most people don’t.

Imagine my surprise when I headed home from work one day.  A pedestrian – which in itself is a novelty because people don’t walk in Wyoming – strolled down the sidewalk.  As I approached him, I couldn’t believe my eyes. 

It looked like this guy! 

I so could have taken this picture but I didn’t.

What was JT doing in my hometown? 

I wasn’t too surprised though.  The other day, on the same road at nearly the same place, I saw this guy!

Not mine either. I could have whipped out my phone (while driving) and taken it though. Then you’d know I’m not crazy.

I’ll just call him the Parks and Recreation guy because I don’t know his name. 

What?  Are celebrities looking for small towns to hide out?  And what’s up with all the walking?  I don’t know about P&R guy, but surely, JT can afford some Wyoming Wheels.  And here’s a suggestion – the bigger the wheel the better here.

In other news, I think it’s time I make an appointment with the optometrist.

Hot Pocket Warning Label

photo courtesy the web

Ouch! I burned my tongue.  I had no idea this Hot Pocket would be so hot.  There should be some kind of warning on it.  A simple message like:  Hello!  This is hot.  In fact, it’s like a little pocket of hot.  So, do not take a huge bite out of it right out of the microwave.

My tongue feels funny.  I think my taste buds will be off for the day.  Thanks for ruining my day.  If there is a lawyer out there, please contact me immediately.  I’m thinking a million dollars will help me get over my emotional distress.

My Hot Pocket was hot.  Who could see that coming?

Now, Maybe

You graduated high school.  It was time for you to move on and leave our youth group.  Because that is the natural progression of things.  Someone else was called to lead the younger girls.  

“I’ve been replaced,” you said.

“Not at all!” I reassured.  “You can never be replaced.”

At the end of summer, it was time for you to move away for college.  Because that is the natural progression of things. Your replacement in the youth group also took your old job in the community.

“I’ve been replaced,” you said.

“Not at all!” I reassured.  “It’s just a coincidence.”

A new girl moved in and started attending our youth group.  Because that is the natural progression of things.  I watched her face when confronted with unpleasantness.  She kept a cool, serene expression.  Underneath the calmness I can only imagine what was turning and burning.  She is a sweet girl that everyone loves.  But I bet she has no clue that her own coolness meter is off the charts.  And I realized, she reminds me of…you.

So, I hope we never again have the discussion where you say, “I’ve been replaced.”

Because I might have to reply, “Ok, now, maybe.”

(Just in case you happen to read this, let me hastily add a 😉 and a LOL to make it all better.  And maybe a JK.  Now you can return with a HAHAHA and we’ll be ROFL, right? Emoticons and acronyms pretty much allow us to say anything we want nowadays and still remain friends.)

 

 

Stormy Afternoon

It was a dark and stormy afternoon.  No, seriously, it really was.  Perhaps, the earth had suffered enough with the summer drought that the heavens took pity on her and allowed rain in the autumn.  One might say that the rain, wind, and dark skies evoke the Halloween spirit.  One might say that, it’s true.  Another might declare it to be a coincidence and only determined by the season.  Which is a proven fact.   But whatever your belief you have to admit, a dark and stormy afternoon is kinda creepy.

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