I’ve been sitting on this topic for awhile. To be honest, I am reluctant to share. But perhaps there is someone out there who can use this. I sure hope that’s the case because I’m about to divulge some hidden part of me. The darkness that has surfaced occasionally. That forbidden thought of what if. What if I did the unthinkable? What if I purposefully traded in the great gift of life and gave it all up? I’m going to share a few thoughts about that taboo topic of suicide.
hold on
I don’t know why
The other night I tossed and turned. I couldn’t sleep. You know how worries always weigh ten times more at night? It was that kind of night.
Hold On
There’s an ebb and flow,
a give and take.
Sometimes your heart is full,
sometimes it breaks
and so you hold on.
My trip to Vernal
I drove to Vernal this weekend. The sky was a deep blue with hardly a cloud to mar the rich hue. The sun did its best to shine at full capacity despite the January chill. It was a lovely day. At least for the first 80 or so miles. When I approached the top of the switchbacks the valley below was filled with fog. From that vantage point, the view truly was remarkable.
When Your Towel is at the Ready
So, life got hard,
It is just not that easy.
Sunshine and roses,
It will not always be.
What I’ve Learned the Past 100 Days
One of the benefits of surviving a trial is the wisdom that should accompany it. At least for me, I like to impart the little nuggets of inspiration I’ve accumulated. Share the wealth and lighten the load type of philosophy. I thought by now the whole soothsaying, warm heart, nurturing side of me would have kicked in and I’d know just what to do to offer comfort. In other words, I thought I’d be more like my mom by now.
Turns out, I’m not quite there yet. But I have learned a few things. Continue reading
