Oh, social media
you evil seducer!
I know I need less time
I need to be a reducer. Continue reading
For your consideration (Facebook open letter)
Dear Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook (and all other social media platforms),
We have a problem here. Some people were born without a common sense gene. As much as we want everyone to rise to the occasion and be wise about using your platform it will never happen. It is impossible for some people to think before they post so we need to adapt to the capacity of the weak to protect everyone else. While there are many issues the viral Gladys Kravitzes use poor judgment on there is one specific one I’d like to discuss. That is when someone posts the death of someone else before the family members have time to be properly (not online) informed. This is not good, it does not reflect well on you, and it is unlikely to get better on its own because not everyone has an ounce of sympathy in their status posting hearts. Continue reading
ti
There are games being played on Facebook right now. Usually, they are played by the teenagers. The older crowd doesn’t want or no longer cares about the types of games being played. But teenagers, well, teens are usually still willing to let another person’s opinion control them. They are searching for self-esteem that they are looking for validation through another person’s outlook. The games? There are several but I’m referring to TI (truth is) and TBH (to be honest).
Thankful day
Accidental fbf
Have you ever been enjoying an apple while out and about and decided, Hey, I should check Facebook? And have you ever logged onto Facebook using your smartphone and tried scrolling? But thanks to some apple juice on your finger it doesn’t slide but kind of sticks and before you know it you send a friend request to somebody you haven’t met yet?
And there you are, away from your computer and no way to recall the request. You have to let it go and so you hope that person rejects you.
And has that person ever accepted your friend request?
And is that person a friend of a friend that a couple of days later you find yourself at the same party?
And while at the party have you ever overheard that person say your name to another friend and both look in your direction?
Have you then looked at the person sitting next to you and quickly pretend to be deep in the most engaging conversation since Eve brought the fruit to Adam?
And for the rest of the night, have you ever avoided your newest fbf because you were too tired to cope with the embarrassment gracefully?
Yeah, me neither.
I Will Be Happy
Remember a few weeks ago when I complained about having the ugly number 9 as my stat? And how I begged for viewers just to get one more and make my stat end with a lovely 0? And remember I achieved that goal? (okay, I had to cheat be creative to do it but it was worth it and I still don’t regret it). And remember how I said I was happy then? Well, something has come up. I have another situation that is bugging me. Don’t worry, the stats are fine. True, 6 is no 0 but it’s no 9 either. I’m fine with my highest all-time view stat ending in 6. The trouble is with my Facebook page.
I started a ck’s days Facebook page just out of curiosity. I thought it would be fun. However, I’m horrible at networking. After all, I only have (gasp) one hundred friends on my regular page. I know, I know. I feel like the modern equivalent of a leper. But I like the small numbers. The purpose of Facebook for me is to actually keep up with old friends. And new friends. I don’t see how I could do that with 400+ friends that I don’t even remember. Or know. Or could care less what they are doing. It would lose all its viral faux-intimacy. For me anyway.
Anyway, I started a ck’s days Facebook page. Since I only had one hundred friends to begin with on my regular page I have a total of 12 likes for my page. Don’t laugh. I’m serious. And I’m okay with that. I really am.
Except for the fact there’s this notice on the page that tells me if I have 30 likes then I can gain access to insights regarding my page. Gain access? And what kind of insights are we talking about here? Are they cool insights? Will it tell me how many people view my page and if it’s worth it to keep? Or are the insights more personal, kind of like a Magic 8 Ball that will tell me how I can make $1,000,000 in the near future? I am so curious that I now want 30 likes just to see what it will unlock.
I have been posting all my updates as ck’s days and nothing. Not one extra like. I’m being a trooper and telling myself it doesn’t matter. But c’mon, in this day and age validation is in the like. I’m not begging though. Well, maybe I am a little bit. See, once I get my 30 likes then I will be happy. Then I will be satisfied. Then I won’t have to beg. For a while anyway. Because as Patricia tells Joe, “It’s always going to be something with you, isn’t it?” (Joe Versus the Volcano, 1990). Um, yep, pretty much.
A Letter to Facebook
Dear Facebook,
While Eve looks like a delightful person, I have no idea who 
she is. I can’t even find the hints you usually drop on how I should know her. We seemingly have no common friends. So why are you so insistent and persistent that we become friends?
On a side note, when one is un-friended by someone is it really necessary to have the said (un-friender) person continue to populate on the (un-friended) friend suggestion lists? Not cool, Facebook, not cool.
Thanks for your time. I know you’re very busy. Probably checking status updates.
ck
Goat Got Your Laugh?
I have a friend who sent me this link on my Facebook wall. This particular friend and I only share things to get a laugh out of each other. I don’t know about her but I find it a pleasant game. After all, it’s never our goal to make each other cry. So, I knew going in that it was going to be silly. That, and the title. The words Taylor Swift and goat in one sentence hinted at jovial amusement.
Oh shucks! Sometime between me preparing this post and it posting the video has been removed. Let me sum up – it had a goat hollering in a panicked, human tone. So creepy it makes you laugh type of thing – trust me.
But then I started thinking. Is this really what a goat sounds like? Now, I know I’m a Wyoming girl so most of you might think I should be an expert on this. I’m not. My ancestors had the good sense to move away from the goats and into town. At least, the important ancestors.
I may live in a small town but I live in a town – without for the most part farm animals. Including goats. In the spirit of full disclosure, my mom’s cousins lived on a ranch. So yes, I have been to a ranch. And yes, I’ve even seen a lamb being born. May I just say, gross! That is a memory I wish I could forget.
The point of all this rambling is, I don’t know much about goats. From what I hear, they are a bit wily a la Three Billy Goats Gruff. But I admit that may not be an accurate portrayal.
So I ask my question again, is this video for real? Is this how goats really sound? First, take away the song. Next suppose one is just wandering in a happy meadow having a Hills Are Alive With Music moment. Then a goat sneaks up behind said person – because as we just discussed goats are a wily bunch. And suddenly, that unearthly, freaky, devilish sound comes out.
Let’s just say, it would scare the patootsies out of me. And as I’ve said before, I prefer my patootsies inside – not out.
I couldn’t wait for an answer. I googled it myself and found this.
What have we learned here class? I don’t know about you but I learned that if I live my entire life without an association of a goat – I’d be okay with that. Oh, and also the hidden little talent that goats make decent back-up singers.
So, You Had a Bad Day
I don’t believe in bad days. True, there are some days when bad stuff happens – like a domino effect – that seem to overtake the day. I attribute those bad days to low coping skills. Nothing more, nothing less.
So, I had a bad, domino-effect, day. The only thing I wanted to do all evening is hibernate in my little corner and pray my ship would come in. Sooner rather than later.
What did I need for a fix-up, band-aid, balm? A good laugh.
First, I watched Big Bang Theory. I chuckled when the novice fisherman Howard – all decked out in his new fishing gear – finds out he looks silly. “I wish I would have known that before I posted all those pictures of Facebook,” he replied. This elicited a giggle.
Then my niece, Bubba, posted pictures on Facebook (the Facebook postings are just a coincidence – or are they?). She finally posted pictures from our vacation to Yellowstone this summer. There’s me on a horse – his name is WINSTON.
Photo by bossy trail guide lady
And there was the random foot hanging off the motorcycle. I remembered our initial reaction to it. Obviously, we thought it picture worthy because we have a picture of it. To borrow the teen way of expressing humor – haha!
Photo by Bubba
But then she posted her picture of her attending an Ugly Sweater Dance. She was very excited about this dance. When we went to our annual Day-After-Thanksgiving movie (pretty original name, eh?) she proudly sported a red sweatshirt with two huge Christmas bears (I can’t quite remember but I think the bears may have been necking). It was a thrift store buy and she loves it! She wears it even without an Ugly Sweater theme. Her new thing is Christmas sweaters.
That made me LOL.
(sigh) Okay, I can wait for my ship to come in. At least until Monday.
What if…
What if when we get to heaven the final review of our life will be in a Facebook format?
And what if our progression from that point is determined by the number of likes we accumulated?
Oh, dangme! I’m in trouble.
ck's days 