I possess a particular talent, a bona fide ability really, of identifying a person’s celebrity doppelganger. Every person has a celebrity twin out there somewhere. You know, someone who could “play you” in the movie of your life. I just have the knack of pointing it out.
However, I have learned (kinda the hard way) that most people don’t want to know about it. The non-famous twin is rarely flattered when I share who his or her famous look-alike is.
Those two black spots are the cave. But it was higher up than it looks! I promise.
I was fine until I wasn’t. Even a day later I can’t tell you for sure what was my undoing. It could have been the darkness. Or it could have been the tight spaces. Or a combination of the tight spaces and the darkness. Whatever it was, it messed with my reason and made me a little crazy. I had to get out of the cave. I needed sunlight right then.
Let me back up and explain how I found myself in a cave on a beautiful spring morning.
I currently serve as a Young Women leader in church. My primary responsibility is to work with the 12-18 year old girls and invite them to come unto Christ. This is done through a variety of activities, a whole lot of love, and consistent prayer.
Years ago, as if in a long, long time ago, I used to watch a syndicated television show called “Snowy River: The McGregor Saga.” The show was on whatever ABC Family used to be. I think the name was Fox Family – but don’t quote me on that. Sorry, but the many names the Family channel has undergone is not something I kept in my brain’s memory files.
“Hummmmmmm,” it’s unavoidable to miss.
It started several weeks ago. Some kind of low toned, powerful machine droning that disturbed the stillness of my quiet neighborhood. Whatever it is, it’s not loud. Just low and consistent. If I had to describe it (which I do since I’m trying to write about it) I’d call it an eerie hum. If I’m outside when it happens, it gives me a dull headache. However, that could be more from the worry about a possible alien craft hovering above my head in stealth mode. There’s no point complaining about the noise to anyone because it’s not exactly loud. More felt than anything.
My phone rang today. I looked at the number. The number was in-state but out of town. Do I know anybody there? I thought to myself.
Nope, I answered.
I let it go to voicemail.
As soon as my phone beeped I listened to the message.
“Honey,” the male voice said, “I’m returning your phone call but, um, I guess you’re not answering. If it’s real important call back and I’ll try and call you back, ok? Love you, bye.”
Hmm, I thought, that message is odd on so many levels.
I know my memory is playing tricks on me but I think I would have remembered a few important key factors.
One, do I have a honey?
Two, was I trying to get a hold of said honey?
Three, is there something urgent I need to share?
To the best of my knowledge (granted, sometimes I’m the last to know) I could answer NO to each question.
I played the message for my officemate. She giggled. “If he’s returning a phone call, how did he get the wrong one?”
I shrugged my shoulders. We couldn’t even hypothesize to give him the benefit of the doubt. It made no sense.
My bleeding heart got the best of me. I didn’t want to leave him hanging thinking he left a message for honey. I text him back. My officemate couldn’t believe what I wrote. She imagined his face became very red. I did not receive an answer.
What would you have done?
We’ve all probably seen those people who bore others to death with vacation pictures. Most of it is done via Facebook and other social sites nowadays. This makes it convenient to slap a like on a couple of pictures and avoid actually having to look at each picture and hear each “funny” story that goes with it. If you ask me, it’s a win-win.
If I remember correctly, I was in kindergarten when the television series The “Dukes of Hazzard” claimed the top spot in the Nielsen ratings. It is entirely possible I’m wrong about the dates. Sometimes I remember things differently than other people. Or the even the truth. The other day I argued with someone about when she taught primary. I was pretty insistent I was right until I realized, uh, she probably knows her own timeline better than me. Oops.
This may or may not have taken place. Okay, some of it did. Some of it did not but I thought it would enhance the story. I’ll let you decide what is fact and what is embellishment.
I went into the laundry room to put the sheets in the dryer. Distractions had prevented me from attending to the switch earlier and it was now later in the evening. The only thing I wanted to do was to put the sheets in the dryer and relax for the rest of the evening. Fate had other plans for me.
I went to see GI Joe: Retaliation last weekend. My main reason, at first, was to spend some quality family time with my visiting family members. I wasn’t opposed to going but it wasn’t a must-see. I know I’ve seen the first one but I can’t remember anything about it. If you want to see this movie, let me give you some homework. Watch the first one again. I was lost about ¾ of the movie. I totally forgot some key plot points. Like the fact there are ninjas in the movie. They are kind of a major plot point to remember. So, if the only thing you can remember about the first movie is the fact Channing Tatum (which I even forgot this key factor) is in it, you might want to re-watch it.
I could lie and say I went to see this movie because of its “honest portrayal of a war-torn country and the secret societies that uphold and contribute to corruptness.” But let’s be honest. What sold me is this poster my niece posted on her Facebook wall. You can call me shallow if you want. I prefer human.
On a side note, the actor formerly known but still referred to as The Rock has arms the same size as….well, as me. My whole body.
Okay, back on topic.
The movie’s plot moved along as if my three-year old grandnephew called the shots. “The GI Joe’s will save the day!” Since toys are always intermingled in one box the next figurine becomes the bad guy. “And they fight….Ninjas … on a cliff of a mountain…” I can imagine hearing little boys (or girls – because I was one of those girls) making fighting noises while conducting a battle down the hallway wall. And then dropping the villain figurines down the wall to signify them losing the battle.
There are some funny parts. The video game at the beginning made me laugh. And some unintentional funny scenes. The body bag flying down the zip-line in the background made me chuckle. I’m not sure if it was supposed to, though.
Want to see it? Planning on seeing it? Considering seeing it? Stop reading this post. Click on this instead and read a nice article about the television show Psych.
If you’re still reading I’m assuming you either already watched GI Joe or you have no desire whatsoever in seeing it.
There is one major “What the heck just happened?” moment. I didn’t believe it for most of the movie. I kept waiting for some kind of twist. Just something to make the major boo-boo all better. It never happened. I don’t want to give too much away. Let’s just say, that picture up top that sold me on the movie is false advertising. That scene did not happen. If it did happen, it occurred when I blinked.
I also feel like people in the London area may not like this movie so much. I wouldn’t if I lived there. They kind of get the shaft. Sure, the Joe’s save the day in the end. That is, for everyone except those who live in Western Europe. Sorry Europe. We’ll miss you.
In the end, the movie came together finally and held its own. Sure, I should have watched the first one. I think. Even after watching the sequel I really can’t remember anything from the first. If you like shoot-em ups and innocent people dying then this movie is for you. Or if you just want to spend some time together as a family… well, if your family is as cool as my family, then yeah, go see it.
ck's days 