Chapter II: Curtis

            I am ashamed to admit my first thought at seeing the missing heirloom was there was no chance in selling it if it was missing.  No, I wasn’t planning on selling a gift from my grandma but I was also aware of the potential value.  Which made me acutely aware of the loss.  In essence, I had been robbed! 

            That was my initial human reaction.  But I recovered before making a scene.  I silently regained my composure so that I could exchange the necessary politeness a social gathering required.  This dinner just earned a new obligation.  I was going to have to don the hat of a private investigator to figure out where my inheritance was at currently.  Hopefully, it had just been moved (another hopeful thought) for its safety and was awaiting (one more hopeful thought) me to retrieve it.  I refused to panic quite yet.  Besides, if I threw a fuss and caused a scene the others would question me and somehow probably find out about the value of the figurine.  I mean, it took me less than five minutes on Google.  Again, I must express the fact that the value does not matter to me.  But it might look suspicious.  Better to keep the value to myself and conduct a private investigation.

            “There’s my son,” my mom said walking into the living room while wearing one of grandma’s old aprons.  My mom and her mother-in-law were never the same size so the only one she could find was a prize from a BBQ contest years ago.  It had a woman licking her finger and the word “Saucy” in cartoon letters next to her.  Grandma never wore it and it looked incongruous with my mom.  A fact she was either oblivious to or had just accepted since this was her only option.

            “Nice apron, mom,” I said as she moved in for what I knew would be an almost suffocating bear hug.  She kissed my cheek and fulfilled her momma bear hug admirably and exceeded expectations.  For a moment, she kept me locked in her embrace before releasing me.  She looked at me and squeezed my cheeks together.  “This face, I love this face.”

            Pleasantries aside, I had a job to do.  “You give away much of grandma’s things?” I asked rather nonchalantly. 

            She looked around the room.  “We haven’t given away anything yet.”

            My hope was not unfounded after all.  That creepy Elegant Elephant was still around.  I just needed to find it.  I nodded my head and scanned the room to make sure it hadn’t just been moved.  There were a lot of people in this room after the funeral so it is possible it could have been moved.

            I couldn’t see any elephant but I saw my mom’s face.  Her face was in a wide smile.  Not the ‘happy to see you’ smile but more of a ‘I’ve gotta a secret’ smile.  Something was going on.  My quest for the elephant suddenly took a back seat as my stomach grew tight.  My mom was up to something.

            “Gil,” she called to my dad.  “Come in here, please.”

            I imagined dad was in the other room watching some football and saw him shuffle in. Dang.  Her smile could not get any bigger.  This is not good.  I began quickly making calculations on an escape when my brother started talking.

            It was then that I noticed that Sam escorted Carlie into the living room. 

            I edged slowly toward the front door.

            “Carlie,” Curtis said.  “We have been together for three years now and for those three years, everyone wondered what was taking us so long.”

            I exhaled slowly.  The moment had nothing to do with me.  This moment belonged to Curtis and Carlie.  I realized what was going on and looked at my mom who was still smiling and winked at me.  That smile was big enough and now long enough I was sure her cheeks must be getting tired.  She’s going to feel that in the morning, I thought.  That’s when it finally dawned on me.  The mandatory attendance at dinner today.  Grandma’s house.  Everything made sense.  Curtis was finally proposing.

            My brother is the family romantic.  It has always been his specialty.  When Mac and I first separated his advice to me was to put myself out there and be romantic.  He even gave me a step-by-step guide on what to do.

            Step 1: rent a suit of armor.  As someone who was rehearsed in such matters, he actually knew a place where I could find one.

Step 2: go to Mac’s work in said suit of armor.  Yes, it was important to wear it the whole time and not just change in the bathroom on her floor.  He was quite insistent on this.  Part of the whole scenario was how willing I was to look stupid for her.  Not exactly his words but that is my shortened interpretation.  I had to show her I was willing to do whatever it took to save our marriage.

Step 3: present her with flowers and give the big reveal that it was actually her boring husband in the suit of armor.  Her husband who loved her so much he was willing to not only step but leap out of his comfort zone to show her how important this relationship was to him.

Step 4: take her to lunch and listen to everything she says.

And I did it.  Well, I tried but I only made it to step 3.

I showed up in a suit of armor.  Rode up the twelve floors to where she worked.  Ignored all the snide remarks from the other elevator riders.  Walked into her office.  Gave her the flowers (that were in pretty sad shape by this time).  Took off my helmet. 

At this time, I could see her facial expression was not the one I had hoped to see.  She didn’t look happy to see me.  Instead, her cheeks burned a deep red and she started crying.  I knew her well enough to know those weren’t tears of joy.

Not wanting to make a scene, she exited with me with a forced smile on her face. We got on the elevator to go to the lobby while some of her coworkers cheered us on.  Luckily, we were the only two in the elevator.  That is when I found out about her former classmate, Miles.  As the elevator descended, so did any expectation for my marriage’s survival.  By the time we exited at the lobby, I knew my marriage was over.  It was a bit of long walk to return that suit of armor.

Romance worked for Curtis.  It was never my thing.

I came back to the present to hear him winding up for the finale.  We were going to have Thanksgiving dinner during their celebration.  Everyone was going to be so happy.  Was that stupid elephant worth all this?

He got down on one knee and I knew it was too late to sneak out.

“Carlie,” he said looking up at her, “will you marry me?”

By some unspoken agreement, everyone in the room collectively held their breath.

But Carlie didn’t answer.  That’s to be expected though, right?  It takes a moment to regain composure to answer. 

But she still didn’t answer.  She looked at the ring and then back at Curtis then the ring again.  Slowly she looked at Curtis and then all of us before looking back at Curtis.  Her eyes filled with tears but I recognized that look.  That was the same look Mac had given me that day in her office.  Those weren’t tears of joy about to spill.

“What are you doing?” she asked quietly. “I thought we agreed…” the words were being choked on her tears. 

She looked at all of us and shook her head.  “I knew I shouldn’t have come.  I am so sorry.  We agreed to one last family dinner and then we were going to tell everyone after the holiday.”

I am ashamed to admit but I was thankful I did not sneak out.  Not that I was enjoying watching this horrific scene but because out of everyone in this room, my brother was going to need me the most tonight.  I was the only one that would understand what he would need after this.

“I can’t be here,” she said and rushed to the door.  She fumbled for her coat that was hanging next to it and tried to put it on.  But she kept missing the sleeve.

Curtis was still on one knee looking at her.

The rest of us stood quietly watching.

She finally gave up on putting on her coat and walked out into the bitter winter wind.  “I will call a cab,” she said and closed the door.

With that, eight eyes moved from the door to my brother who was still in the same position on the floor.  Suddenly, as if he just realized what had happened, he sprang to life.  He looked at all of us then ran out the door after Carlie.

I am ashamed to admit it but my immediate thought went back to the missing elephant.  Don’t get me wrong, I knew from firsthand experience the pain my brother was about to drop into.  I felt bad for the guy, I really did.  But there was some small something in me that felt something akin to relief to know I was about to get some empathy for my situation.  Not only that, I would be able to extend the same courtesy. 

Yes, my brother was about to enter a depth of hurt but I would be there to help him climb out again.  That elephant, however, was not going to find itself.  After this, I was pretty sure the mood of the dinner was going to be quite different than what had been planned so I needed to find that stupid elephant now.

But my sister had other plans.

“What just happened?” Sam asked.  All eyes turned to me.

“What?  Am I the resident break-up expert?” I asked doing another quick scan of the room just in case the elephant was somehow hiding.

No one answered and I stopped looking for the elephant and looked at each of their faces.  “Really?” I asked.  “That was a good old fashioned du…” 

Curtis walked back in with his head down. 

“Du-ocumentary I watched.”  I winced at my feeble coverup.

“Smooth,” Sam said.

Curtis didn’t say anything and sat on the couch.  I saw my mom moving in toward him, so I sat on the couch next to him to block her path.  As the proclaimed break-up expert, I knew he did not need to hear any bad advice or platitude.  Not now.  Later, he’d be on his own to deflect that sort of thing, but I could spare him for a moment.  Right now, he had to process the good old-fashioned dump he just experienced.

“Hey buddy,” it’s what I used to say when we were younger. Whenever he was feeling down, I would wrap my arm around him and say, ‘hey buddy, what’s ailing you?’  He thought the word ailing was a silly word that I had made up and it would make him smile.  For the record, I didn’t exactly know what the word ailing meant at the time either.  It was just something I had watched on a skit on television so I copied it.  But it became our schtick.  This time, however, I couldn’t bring myself to finish the line.

“Want to know what’s ailing me?” he asked with a forced smile.

“Oh, I know what’s ailing you,” I responded matching his tone.

“Yeah, you all saw that good old-fashioned dumping, didn’t you?”

So, my earlier coverup was not that great.

“Yeah,” I responded.  “But if it makes you feel any better, I recognized it because I, too, have gone through a good old-fashioned dumping.”

“It sucks,” he said.

“It really does,” I agreed.

His tone softened enough to apparently appease dad.  Dad quietly nodded his head at mom and the two walked back into the kitchen.  Sam sat on the chair across from us.

“I knew we were drifting apart,” he said.  “Not really drifting.  Everything had just become so complacent.  Static.  I thought that was a good sign.  We were comfortable.”

Even I knew enough to wince at that description.  And I’m the boring child.

“A month ago, she told me her job had this position opening up in Dubai and she wanted to try for it.”

“Dubai?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, halfway around the world.” He continued.  “Of course, I was upset but I got on board.  I told her I loved her and I was willing to move to Dubai with her.”
            “Dubai?” I asked.

“Yes, guys.  Dubai,” he rolled his eyes at having to repeat the name so many times.  “I didn’t want to but I was willing to go for her.”

“That’s nice of you,” it was a weak statement, but I lost sight of what the problem was.  She wanted to go to Dubai, he didn’t but he was willing to go for her. 

Sam and I looked at each other and both of us shrugged our shoulders at the same time.

“Trouble is,” he continued with a mock laugh.  “She wants to go but she doesn’t actually want me to go with her.  She said it was time for a new adventure and she wants to do this solo.”

“Ouch,” Sam said and I agreed.

            We sat for a moment in silence.

            “How did that all lead up to a Thanksgiving proposal?” I asked.  It seemed like two different stories.

            “Ah,” he squawked.  “You see, she in fact got the job…”

            I looked at Sam.  “The job in Dubai.”  She rolled her eyes at me.

            “Yes, the job in Dubai.  And I thought maybe she didn’t think I was sincere enough.  Maybe she was trying to help me out by not making me move.”  He looked at Sam and then at me.  “I just wanted her to know I am in this relationship 100%.  Fully committed.  Where she goes, I go.”

            Sam and I looked at each other again anticipating the next part.

            “That was not it.  She just really doesn’t want me to go with her.  She is ready for her next adventure without me.”

            “Oh,” Sam said and moved to the couch to give him a hug.  “Her loss.  You’re the best.  You’re awesome. Good riddance to her.  You know, I never liked her.”  Her responses were coming rapid fire and were starting to take a turn for the worse attacking Carlie’s character.  At some future point, he probably would appreciate her arsenal but I knew that was not tonight. So, I interjected.

            “Sam,” she kept firing away, “Sam,” I said a little louder and she finally stopped.  “Don’t you think mom may need some help?”  I nodded to the kitchen and she sighed but took the hint. 

            “Fine,” she said walking away.  “But I know where I left off.”

            We watched her walk out of the room.  “I believe her,” he said.

            “Why did Carlie even come today?” I asked.

            “Well, she wanted to say goodbye to everyone.  Plus, we didn’t want to do this over the holiday and bring everyone down for today’s dinner…”

            “Yeah, glad that was sidestepped.” I said sarcastically.

            He smiled.  “Yeah, sorry.  But she also loved grandma and wanted to pay her final respects.  We used to visit grandma every week on Sunday afternoons.”

            “You did?” I asked.  During all my visits with grandma she never mentioned anyone else stopping by.

            “Oh yeah,” he said standing up and walking around the room.  “Carlie loved our visits with grandma.”

            “Well,” I said standing up next to him.  “Grandma was easy to love.”

            He stood in front of the bookshelf.  “Hey, do you remember that creepy elephant she used to have sitting here?” he asked and pointed to the empty spot where the elephant should be.

            I nodded and my voice was a little hoarse.  “Vaguely,” I decided to play it cool.  Maybe now I could get some answers.

            “It was so ugly,” he laughed and put his finger where the elephant should have been.  “But apparently it was worth some money.”

            “You sold it?” I asked losing any semblance of cool.

            “Sell it?” he laughed and stood up straight.  He looked me in the face.  “No one could sell that thing.  Not after Sam broke it.”

            Sam broke my Elegant Elephant?

            All cool was gone as I yelled, “SAMANTHA!”

Chapter III: Sam

Chapter I: Elegant Elephant