Plan C: Chapter III

Plan C: The Request

Lizzie settled into some sort of restless routine. At first, nothing felt mundane because she was aware of the fact she would soon miss all the small moments she was having with her dad. Every moment felt like a gift. But that feeling was short lived once the routine became familiar and she started taking those small moments for granted again. Life was moving downstream and she got caught in the current of routine. Until one morning when she saw her dad sitting in the kitchen. He was normally up before she was and would work the crossword puzzle at the kitchen table. This particular morning though, he just sat in the dark.

“Dad?” she asked.

He looked genuinely surprised that she was in the room. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I guess I was lost in thought. Good morning.”

“Are you okay?” she asked walking over to him and putting a hand on his arm.

He put his hand on top of hers and smiled. “Just thinking. Remembering actually.” He looked at the wall behind her as if searching for something. “I was remembering one particular summer, I think I was about 11 or so. Grandma and grandpa still had their cabin at South Pass. I was old enough I got to spend the whole summer there with them. Mom and dad joined us a few weekends but mostly it was just the three of us.” He thought a moment. “That was the best summer.”

She nodded. He had told her the story many times before but she let him talk anyway.

“That was before it became a touristy spot. It was literally just a ghost town, emphasis on ghost.”

“Sounds spooky,” she said as if it was the first time hearing the joke.

Instead of the usual punchline though he simply said, “No, not spooky. It was wonderful. I pretty much had the run of the place and for an 11-year-old boy, there was no better place to be. It was right before the state came in and made it a historic site. When they did that, grandma and grandpa lost the cabin.”

Lizzie nodded. She knew the story well. Her grandparents had a cabin inside the old town. When the state made it a historic landmark, they had the option to move their cabin outside of the town boundary or lose the cabin. Since they were getting older and didn’t want to go through the money and hassle of moving the cabin, they chose to donate the cabin to the site. Every time Chuck went to South Pass, he told the story with more than a hint of regret in his voice. He often said he wished he could go back in time and prevent that decision from being made. His wife often reminded him that he was still a young boy when it happened and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. But that didn’t keep him from wishing.

He continued, “During the day, I fished my heart out and hiked all around those hills. I captured lizards and even a snake.” He looked at her. “Grandma made me get rid of the snake but she let me keep the lizards and even the tadpoles from the stream.”

“I don’t blame her,” Lizzie said. “I would have done the same. Except for letting you keep the lizards and frogs. They wouldn’t have been allowed in the same cabin as me.”

He chuckled. “Wish you could have met my grandma. She was one heck of a woman. You remind me of her in so many ways.”

“Really?” she asked smiling. “I’m like your grandma?”

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Same wit. Same determination. Same playfulness.” He looked at her. “Same stubbornness. Same sass.”

“Hey,” she said and rolled her eyes playfully. “Now you’re just making me blush.”

He smiled. “Your smile though, you get that beautiful smile from your mother.”

She smiled even bigger. “I hope so, she did have a beautiful smile. Many people have told me how much they appreciated her warmness.”

“You definitely got all that goodness from her.”

Lizzie liked being compared to her mother. She had always remembered her mother as smart, beautiful, warm, and kind. Traits she was unsure were passed down to her. Granted, it was her dad telling her these things and he was a bit biased but she allowed herself to believe some of it.

“Do you want some breakfast?” she asked getting a pan out of the cupboard.

He didn’t answer.

“Dad?” she asked turning to him. She could see his eyes were watering.

“I want to go to South Pass,” he said. “I need to go one last time.” He looked at her. “Just to say goodbye.”

He had been doing so well for so long that she could often put out of her mind what was coming. She knew the inevitable was getting nearer but that didn’t mean hearing about it made it easier. A lump in her throat needed clearing. “Of course, dad,” she said and mentally kicked herself for not thinking of doing this sooner. “We’ll go this weekend.”

He nodded.

“We can invite Sharon and Matt to come with us,” she said. Since her father’s diagnosis the two of them had become part of their family.

“I’d like that,” he said weakly. “I think I need to rest a bit now. I am just so tired.”

She nodded. “I’ll fix us some breakfast and you can eat when you get up.”

“Thank you,” he smiled at her.

She watched him slowly walk out of the kitchen. Silently she cursed cancer for taking so much out of her dad. His vitality was slowly slipping and it was draining her to watch him decline. Cursing something she had no control over wasn’t going to help the task at hand and she knew it. But she did it anyway. She let her anger take over and she didn’t reign it in until she threw a plate at the wall causing it to shatter. Once she realized how much she had escalated she took a couple of deep breaths. She looked at the doorway to the hall hoping she didn’t wake her dad but no sound came from it.

She brought her hand up to her forehead and held it there for a moment trying to get her breathing under control. Instead of calming down though, the tears came. For the past couple of months, she had been able to hold it all in. There was no holding anything in now. Her frustration over moving home, not working as an actress, missing all that time with her dad, finding out about her dad’s diagnosis all came out in her tears and sobs. All she could do was sit on the kitchen floor and let it take its due course at last. This was her life now. Back in her hometown, sitting on the same kitchen floor in the house she grew up in, no job, and a sick dad she was about to lose. Nothing about this was part of her plan. How did she get here?

After about 15 minutes, her body was tired and she couldn’t cry anymore. She was thankful her dad had slept through her tantrum. While none of this was following any general life plan she might have once had she had to admit she was thankful she was where she was at. She had moved back in time to not only connect with her dad but also to be there for him as he went through all of this. While she felt the universe was sharing some cosmic joke at her expense with all her setbacks, she also could acknowledge how it was helping her be where she needed to be at the moment. There was no denying the rug had come out from under her in what felt like one giant pull. But there were other things she could see and reminded herself to focus on. Things that were helping her get a new rug to stand on.

For instance, she had been able to work for Matt for a couple of months. As agreed upon, she cleaned out the basement of his office. While cleaning out the files, she managed to find a new hobby to help her with a slight distraction that she needed. Tucked away in the mess of files, she found some notes from an old case. It was about 100 years old and involved a woman in a small nearby coal camp on trial for murdering her husband. The lawyer had managed to get the woman acquitted. While reading the case notes and newspaper clippings about the case, Lizzie became fascinated with it. When she enthusiastically shared it with Matt, he suggested others might find it interesting as well. He suggested it could make a fun podcast. She started sharing it and even had a little following listening to it. That had provided a little extra income and helped keep her busy. But the time was drawing near for her to have to enter the workforce for real and that caused her no small amount of dread.

She finally stood up and started cooking breakfast. At some point, she was going to have to figure out what to do about work and what her long-term plan was.

Not today though. Today she was going to plan a trip to South Pass.