Beware the cranky old broad

Here is my latest pondering: is it winter or old age that is making me cranky?  I hope it’s the former but fear it’s the latter since I’m cranky year round these days.  Dang me, that is not who I want to be but man, I sure get annoyed easily these days.  Somehow, somewhere along the way I’ve become the crazy cat lady minus the cats or one cranky old broad.

I try to be chill but “I got no chill.”  To remind myself to calm down I have to remember to ask myself “do I really want to be annoyed by this?”  Do I want to be that person?  No, I don’t want to be I just am.

I once fasted for help in becoming an edifier.  A couple of days after the fast ended I was at my absolute orneriest.  Everything and everyone annoyed me.  I no longer pray for such a gift.  When I do, it’s as if I become extra sensitive and everyone annoys me.

(sigh) I guess this is just who I am now.  Instead of fighting it, maybe I should embrace it.  Maybe it’s not such a bad thing to be so high strung and fighting so many battles, right?



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