An Open Letter

To Leukemia,

I hate you.

You may suppose I’m not an articulate person because the word “hate” has lost its power in recent years and has become an overused verb.  Let me assure you, in my vocabulary,”hate” still carries the full emotion and power of its original definition.  I use it sparingly and reserve it only for you.

I hate what you do to people.  You move in, uninvited, and take over.  You take over a person’s body and life and nothing sates your destructive appetite.  I view you as nothing more than a two-bit thief who steals vitality and dignity.  You are an onerous foe with no redeeming virtue.  The fact that you have the power to reduce a woman who moved a piano once a month in her living room to someone who needs help walking ascertains your utter despicability in my book.

You are not content with preying on one single person at a time.  You leave a wide path of destruction that affects family members and friends also.  Your weapons of choice:  constant worry, fatigue, sadness, anger, and hate.  All of which are cancers to the soul.

However, I do not want you to think that because you win some battles you win the war.     Because of you, I appreciate every day that I can declare the phrase, “I love you,” to someone.  Because of you, I have witnessed hope spring up in a pessimistic man.  Because of you, I have learned how to serve other people.  Because of you, I know what love feels like.  Because of you, I recognize the importance of good humor and well-timed smiles.  Because of you, I have to have hope of the resurrection.  Because of you, I’ve seen goodness in other people.  Because of you, the word courage has become discernable.   Because of you, prayer has become more than words.  Because of you, I’ve felt the comforting reassurance by holding someone’s hand.  Because of you, I know a little bit more of God’s love for all His children.

So yes, you have knocked me down and left me with a grieving soul.  But do not rejoice.   This is not a victory for you but for me.   I refuse to let you win everything.  I will keep my hope and that is the biggest feat of all.

Your everlasting foe,

ck

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2 thoughts on “An Open Letter

  1. I am so sorry you and your family have to go through this. Cancer of any kind is a horrific experience, but you’re right, it doesn’t win. It will change you forever, but you determine whether that change is good or bad.

    As for myself, I no longer fear death because my mom will be waiting for me. I never have a moment’s doubt that there is life after death, because at times I have felt her presence and known her thoughts. I learned during her last weeks that there are truly angels surrounding us. Some of them were mortal, like your own mom. I’ll never forget how compassionate, skilled, and spot-on tactful she was during that time.

  2. cancer…it is very hard to go through…when my grandma was going through it she lived with me and my family…it is very hard to watch someone go from 200lb. to 98lb. This passage is well written…if I could express my feelings in words I think I would have said the same thing…it is wonderful to know that we can triumph over cancer. It can never keep us down..yes it can try and try very hard but through Jesus Christ we will hold the triumph!!

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