missing mom

The Thing About Fall Is…

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www.ck-sdays.com Grand Tetons Wyoming

http://www.ck-sdays.com
Grand Tetons Wyoming

The thing about fall is…

I used to love it

Was it the spectacular colors?

Was it the change in the air?

Was it school starting?

I don’t know.

But it used to fill me with excitement.

 

The thing about fall is…

I don’t like it now

Is it because everything dies?

Is it because it is the end of summer?

Is it because of the cold?

I don’t know.

But it now fills me with dread.

 

The thing about fall is…

I think of you often

Is it because in September I’m more aware?

Is it because October is your birthday?

Is it because another holiday season is approaching without you?

I don’t know.

But I’m a little more blue in the fall.

© 2014 ck’s days

50th Wedding Anniversary

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There should have been a party today.

And there would have been one, too.

It would have been grand.

Friends and family would have gathered in the halls.

Some bearing gifts.

All bringing well wishes and memories.

All because of fifty years.

I mean, fifty years is a long time.

It can be a lifetime.

It’s longer than a lifetime for some.

All to commemorate a wedding

in a church

on July 25, 1964.

It would have been a great party.

 

Perhaps

she reminisces on her side of the veil

and is wished a happy anniversary

while he slowly twists the ring on his finger

and remembers

and is surrounded by muted tones.

 

Perhaps

there are tears on both sides of the veil today.

Well-earned tears.

Forty seven years together,

3 years separated

not by choice.

They earned those tears.

There should have been a party today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuLOxrTn8fE&feature=youtu.be

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZajPCnm7AWY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-32QN_WJ14

The Toll We Pay

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I didn’t think I could do it.

I thought that I would fail.

To my surprise I did it.

I survived this dreadful tale.

 

I’m stronger than I thought.

I didn’t even fall.

But now around my heart

I had to build a wall.

 

I can survive anything.

But what will be the cost?

Is it worth remaining

if my soul is lost?

 

Is that the toll we pay

just for getting older?

The heart continues beating

but everyday grows colder.

 

© 2014 ck’s days

The View

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The road below

I am surrounded by hills.

I used to go walking and there was a spot I’d visit.

It kept secrets well.

In fact, the ground was littered with shiny, broken secrets from other people.  People who visited at night.

I always visited during the day.

“I want out of this town,” I confided to the sagebrush.

“My life will be much happier when I’m out,” I told the rocks.

“I hate my life here!” I’d yell down to the road.

“Life isn’t fair.”  At that time, I indulged in the belief that life had to be fair in order to be good.

I-80 stretched  out below me carrying bug-sized cars to different destinations.  It disappeared around the bend in the east.

It was my hope that life didn’t end in town.  Surely, there was more than what I could see.

When the time came, and the time was right, the road below would be my escape route.

The same road that got me out, brought me home again.

I visited my spot the other day.  The cars hurried on their way below.

“I miss my mom,” I confided to the sagebrush.

“I want her back,” I told the rocks.

“I miss my mom and I want her back!” I yelled down to the road.

“It’s not fair,” I said as more of an indulgence than belief.  I’ve learned life isn’t fair, but it can still be good.  It’s how we handle the unfairness that determine our happiness.

The road below still disappears around the bend in the east.  It reminds me there is more than this town.

When the time is right, and the time will come, I will follow a road out of town.

And return home.

Originally posted May 8, 2012