My cell phone buzzed at work the other day. It was a call from my oldest niece, Lyn. I hesitated to answer it because every single time I check my phone, my boss walks in. Cell phones are a no-no at work. But Lyn rarely calls me and I remembered the time when she called and it was an emergency. I decided to be brave (family trumps work after all) and answered.
humor
If I Were to Cave-In to Passing Fads and have a Bucket List…
Last Tuesday we took the girls caroling. One nearly-almost-14-year-old excitedly confided, “I’ve always wanted to do this.”
“Ah, get to cross something off your bucket list,” I said in a humorous tone.
“Exactly!” she agreed and didn’t appreciate my wit.
photo courtesy the web
Wow. If only all bucket lists were that easy to accomplish. A few years ago when that Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman movie came out bucket lists became in vogue. So, of course, I didn’t make one. I’ve never been good at making goals. Too much pressure. I prefer to make what I call “bite-sized steps.” Mini-goals if you will. Things that I’m sure I’ll accomplish and can cross off my daily list. Because I really like crossing things off my list. It just feels so good.
But after Tuesday night I’ve been thinking about it. Perhaps I do have a list of what I want to achieve before I die. No, I’m not falling in line with a popular fad. This is totally different than the fashionable bucket list, mind you. A bucket list consists of goals to cross off before one dies. My personal list consists of goals I want to cross off before I die. See the difference? There are just a few things I thought I’d share.
One: I want to write the words to a song. Not just any song. A song that gets played ad nauseam on the radio. One that the mass majority relates to and if that majority wants to show their affection with their pocketbook, well, I wouldn’t complain. But I’d settle for a song that speaks to the heart. Maybe one to help the Young Women when they are faced with dark days.
Two: I want to make a million people laugh simultaneously. What? Too much? Okay, I want to be able to cause laughter – in a positive way (in other words, not laughing at me) for an audience. If I were a braver person, I’d admit I want to be a standup comic. But I don’t want to pay my dues with the small venues, flat jokes, and hecklers. I want to skip to the Ellen Degeneres sized shows.
Three: I want to save a life. Not in the physical sense with CPR and first aid. In fact, I’d prefer not to be around someone in medical need. Unless, passing out myself will help someone with a medical issue, I better not be around a medical emergency. But I want to help snatch someone from the dark abyss and help that person find the light. To give hope to a hopeless situation. To rescue a soul.
Yeah, I think those are my current to-do’s on my life’s list. I don’t think I’m asking too much. Do you? What’s on your list?
So, You Had a Bad Day
I don’t believe in bad days. True, there are some days when bad stuff happens – like a domino effect – that seem to overtake the day. I attribute those bad days to low coping skills. Nothing more, nothing less.
So, I had a bad, domino-effect, day. The only thing I wanted to do all evening is hibernate in my little corner and pray my ship would come in. Sooner rather than later.
What did I need for a fix-up, band-aid, balm? A good laugh.
First, I watched Big Bang Theory. I chuckled when the novice fisherman Howard – all decked out in his new fishing gear – finds out he looks silly. “I wish I would have known that before I posted all those pictures of Facebook,” he replied. This elicited a giggle.
Then my niece, Bubba, posted pictures on Facebook (the Facebook postings are just a coincidence – or are they?). She finally posted pictures from our vacation to Yellowstone this summer. There’s me on a horse – his name is WINSTON.
Photo by bossy trail guide lady
And there was the random foot hanging off the motorcycle. I remembered our initial reaction to it. Obviously, we thought it picture worthy because we have a picture of it. To borrow the teen way of expressing humor – haha!
Photo by Bubba
But then she posted her picture of her attending an Ugly Sweater Dance. She was very excited about this dance. When we went to our annual Day-After-Thanksgiving movie (pretty original name, eh?) she proudly sported a red sweatshirt with two huge Christmas bears (I can’t quite remember but I think the bears may have been necking). It was a thrift store buy and she loves it! She wears it even without an Ugly Sweater theme. Her new thing is Christmas sweaters.
That made me LOL.
(sigh) Okay, I can wait for my ship to come in. At least until Monday.
The Same Song Over and Over Again
photo courtesy the web
photo courtesy the web
On the way home from work the other day
Taylor Swift’s song, you know the one, “We Are Never Getting Back Together”
played for the gazillionth time (I know because I counted).
It’s her song about a romance breaking-up and love lost.
So, I switched it to the other non-country, contemporary music station in town.
Pink’s “Blow Me One Last Kiss” played.
It’s her song about a romance breaking-up and love lost.
Ugh! I hate when both stations play the same song at the same time.
On-Line Christmas Shopping Made Hard
photo courtesy the web
Okay, my effort to unplug this weekend did not go as planned. Chalk it up to poor planning on my part. I have never used my phone so much in one weekend as I did Friday night through Saturday. By that time I figured, what the heck, and used it Sunday also. At one point, I had two computers and my phone going at the same time. Kind of the opposite of a unplugged weekend, huh? There’s always next weekend right?
Laughing is Good Stuff
I like to laugh. However, most of the time, I’m a hard nut to crack. Usually it’s because I get lost in observing the moment and forget to express my delight. And then there are the times when I do laugh but at the most inappropriate moments.
The Moose
What do you want first, the inspiration to the poem or the poem itself (chicken or egg dilemma)? This blog isn’t really interactive so I’ll make the decision. Many years ago my family went on vacation to Yellowstone National Park and did not see any wildlife. Soon after we returned home, a moose wandered into the local cemetery. And when I say local, I mean local to my house (we live on the street right next to it). As far as I know, this is the only time a moose has roamed my neighborhood. I wrote this poem years ago based on this experience. Continue reading
Mush for Brain
About the middle of last month, the blessed, wonderful HR Rep calculated everyone’s vacation time. She noticed I had 16 hours of personal time and 48 hours of vacation time I needed to use by December 31 or lose it. She notified my boss. My boss notified me.
“Twist my arm!” I said. “Guess I’ll schedule some time off.”
And so I did.
First, I started with Thanksgiving week. That’s right. I took the whole week off. That accounted for three days or 24 hours. And it was great! I didn’t go anywhere. However, I did work my butt off cleaning the house and getting ready for the holiday (which means company coming to visit).
Monday I went back to work. You know me; I’m not one to give into hyperbole. So trust me when I say, Monday was the hardest, longest, hardest day of my life. It was one long, hard day. Apparently, I’m still feeling the effects of brain-mush.
I arrived late (that’s not really a new thing. Although I was hoping the week vacation would have helped motivate me getting up in the morning. It did not). I turned on the light to my windowless office and sighed. It looked so dark. I wondered if it always looks that dark (it does. My office mate is one of those “IT” people who hate artificial light. She had maintenance loosen the fluorescent light bulbs above her head so that they won’t turn on. Her side of the office is always darker. Plus, she’s on vacation so it felt extra dark.)
After sitting for a few moments staring at my blank computer monitor I realized it helps if I turn it on. NO! I wasn’t that bad. Almost, but not quite. I remembered how to turn on my computer.
However, one of the many chiefs came in to my office before 9:00 (seriously, who comes in with a problem before 9:00 Monday morning?!) She explained the situation to me. It sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher talking – “waa, waa, waaa, waa, waa, waa, waa.” Let’s just say, there was a problem and if there was a giant finger pointing, it was in my direction. Dangme.
So everything I planned to do –to get caught up – was put on hold. I had to figure out the problem. Not to toot my horn, but I worked out a solution…Tuesday at 4:30. But this blog isn’t about how awesome I am for figuring it out. Although at 4:30 I really wanted to do cartwheels down the hall.
This blog is actually about the fact that I live about 14 minutes away from work. Ten minutes into my drive home on Monday my mush-for-brain realized I left my phone at work. There was an internal debate on whether I should go back for it or not. Thirteen minutes into my commute I finally turned around. I couldn’t imagine going a whole evening without my phone. It has worked its way into my life and made itself indispensable. Way to go, iPhone! And a little unnerving. I keep thinking of the villain in Spiderman 2. Remember Doc Ock? How those mechanical tentacle things overtook him and he became evil? I don’t think my phone will make me do evil things. Although, I wonder how that excuse would go over: my phone made me do it!
But I do think I rely on my phone too much.
The remedy? I’m going to unplug this weekend. Or, actually, I’m going to leave it plugged into the wall. It’s my goal to not look at my phone once after I leave work on Friday until Monday morning. Can I do it? I think I can get along without my actual phone features okay; it’s the 10,000 Facebook checks that might kill me.
If I’m successful, I’ll report back on Monday. If not, this blog never happened.
Wish me luck!
Beard Beanie Anyone?
It’s that time of year. We are being bombarded by commercials. I don’t know about you, but I have chosen to survive by tuning most of the constant barrage out. Those little 30 second fillers (that add up to several minutes) are just enough time to visit my own little world and tend to things there. I just don’t get enough time to visit anymore. My world gets neglected.
However, occasionally a 30 second spot does something to catch my attention. Remember the Snuggie? It took a few airings until I paid attention. And then I wondered who these people are that have such a hard time figuring out blankets. Do they walk among us? Then I speculated how big the said population must be that something had to be invented to help them out. And then I went to work and made a big deal about it.
Last year I received a Snuggie for Christmas from a co-worker. Oh, funny office hi-jinks.
This year it wasn’t a television ad that caught my attention. It’s a Facebook ad.
Really?
My first thought after seeing this? Is this for real? Followed closely by: who can I get this for? But I will not go to work and mock this ad. I do not want one for Christmas. Seriously.
Black Friday Post
courtesy the web. It’s called the Black Screen of Death. Sounds ominous, don’t ya think?
Happy Black Friday y’all!
Yeah, I’m phoning it in today. I’m sleeping while y’all are shopping. Play nice. Be good. And buena suerte!
ck's days 