I just knew I was sick as can be
there had to be something seriously wrong with me.
Of all the people that ever lived in history
no one has ever been quite as sick as yours truly.
Turns out my only malady
is a case of anxiety.
Really?
I thought for sure I was a goner, see,
And this diagnosis doesn’t exactly
help me.
© 2013 ck’s days
I think I need to get away this weekend. Let me explain.
I have a friend – and I’ll leave her name out because she’ll know who she is in about two seconds – who is on Facebook. Right before she joined she was given some safety advice:
“Don’t use your real birthday because people can steal your identity.”
We discuss this every year in August at about the time of her birthday. I admire her fortitude for not changing her profile to her correct birthday date. Way to not give into peer pressure, friend! Even if most of the pressure comes from me.
My first year on Facebook I left my birthday off. But after wishing every single person on the planet a happy birthday the following year – I added mine. If I’m going to wish you a “happy, happy birthday” I want the same in return. And yes, I keep track. But in mature fashion not in a totally childish, petty way.
I try to be respectful. If a friend’s birthday doesn’t pop up in the reminder window then who am I to blab his or her secret? I wish that person a “happy day for whatever reason ;)” Yep, I’m so clever.
Today Facebook said it was her birthday. “No, it’s not,” I said. To be honest, my alter-ego Ms. Cranky Pants has been rearing her grumpy head again causing trouble. It happens every year when I return from my road trip and I’m a little disappointed my better offer didn’t magically fall in my lap a la any Hallmark movie. One day it will. But not this year. So, Ms. Cranky Pants has surfaced and is living up to her name. Thanks to her, I am due for a stern talking-to at work. Thanks for that Ms. Pants.
So, I have been a bit of a cranky stinker. “It’s not her birthday,” I complained. “I’m not going to wish her a second happy birthday.” Because, as you know, to wish somebody a second happy birthday in one year will pretty much cause the apocalypse to rain down.
Later in the day as I perused Facebook posts I saw how a mutual friend handled it: “I’m so glad I get to wish you another happy birthday!”
Well poop. It might be time for Ms. Cranky Pants to get out of town.
I have one goal every Monday morning at 8:00. One objective to motivate me to get out of bed after the alarm goes off (many, many times). That one thing? Friday afternoon. I could be more specific and say lately it has been the discovery of glorious Friday afternoon naps. But that sounds like I just celebrated my 31st 29th instead of my 11th. So, let’s just say my favorite time of the week is when I clock out from work on Friday and walk down the hall toward the door.
August 7: My original plan for the day fell through (due to my poor planning). What to do?
I decided on two objectives:
One, get a picture of the Missouri River.
Two, go shopping – specifically for souvenirs.
One task turned out to be unbelievably easy. The other, seemingly impossible.
The floating head (my apologies) explains day 3 video
August 5 (aka my birthday, aka the best dang day of the whole year): It had a rather inauspicious start. At 4:00am I was awakened to a big THUD coming directly above me. Apparently, the people in the room right above me wanted to get a very early start. And at least one of them was clumsy. And all of them had the singular gift of knowing which floor boards are the creakiest.
My Road Trip Begins! video
August 3: My Missouri Road Trip, aka my 11th 29th birthday road trip, aka my 2013 Road Trip is officially underway. I traveled a total of 479 miles today.
One advantage of traveling alone is I picked out a couple of books on CD. I’ve been listening to Wicked. My dreams should be fairly entertaining tonight. If I get to sleep long enough to dream.
Edna and Frank
have been married a long, long time.
When asked, “A Tuesday
past forever,” is Frank’s line.
For the most part
they putter around their trailer home.
It’s been just the
two of them since their kids are grown.
They never leave.
They don’t take a vacation.
Somewhere they lost
the genteel art of conversation.
She is wearing
the same faded housedress for days.
His suspenders
over his t-shirt keep his pants in place.
Frank sits at the
table and works the crossword in the paper
while she hovers
over the stove making soup for later.
And Edna says,
“I’ve never liked the 31st.
Bad things happen
and it always turns out for the worst.
And in my view,
July 31st should be wiped away
because nothing,
no nothing good comes today.”
A few moments
later he speaks up to say,
“I don’t mind it.
After all, today is my birthday.”
“I know,” she says
and spoons the soup up in a ladle.
He continues
to work his puzzle at the table.
Edna and Frank
have been married a long, long time.
When asked, “A Tuesday
past forever,” is Frank’s line.
© 2013 ck’s days
I was ready.
In 1997 I lived in Texas where I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As a missionary, I spent my time preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. At any given moment, I needed to be ready to share a profound thought usually expounding scripture.
I’ve always been a fan of adages and I collected quotes that I thought were short nuggets of profound wisdom before my mission. The more obscure the reference the better. By the time I left on my mission I had a library of rather exceptional maxims.
ck's days 