In the defense of to-do lists

Why is there so much loathing and hatred for to-do lists?  Characters in movies and books are mocked for making lists and many a hero’s journey involves getting rid of her (it’s usually a her) to-do list. Once the character learns to live life without the heinous list she (again, usually a female) really learns to live.  For a to-do list has been the culprit holding her back in life and making life unenjoyable.   Really?  Continue reading


For your consideration (Facebook open letter)

Dear Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook (and all other social media platforms),

We have a problem here.  Some people were born without a common sense gene.  As much as we want everyone to rise to the occasion and be wise about using your platform it will never happen.  It is impossible for some people to think before they post so we need to adapt to the capacity of the weak to protect everyone else.  While there are many issues the viral Gladys Kravitzes use poor judgment on there is one specific one I’d like to discuss.  That is when someone posts the death of someone else before the family members have time to be properly (not online) informed.  This is not good, it does not reflect well on you,  and it is unlikely to get better on its own because not everyone has an ounce of sympathy in their status posting hearts. Continue reading

An Aunt’s Guide

I have been an aunt for 28 years now.  It is the title I cherish most and have taken the most time and effort to fine tune.  As with most endeavors in life, there has been a definite learning curve as I have navigated the waters.  In some respects being an aunt has not turned out as I expected.  In some cases, it’s even better.  Here are a few things I have learned in my 28 years of being an aunt.

  1. Time matters.  As with anything in life, the time spent on a pursuit or goal will determine the success rate with the pursuit or goal.  Nothing worthwhile blossoms overnight or on command.  At least, no relationship does.  It takes effort.  It takes practice.  It takes time.  If you want to have a relationship with your niece or nephew when they are adults and are able to include you in their fun stuff then do fun stuff with them when they are younger.  Even when they are younger it is the quality of time spent versus the quantity.  Showing up for them when they are young might motivate them to show up for you when they are older.
  2. Show an interest in their interest.  Common sense here, isn’t it?  We connect with those who share the same likes as us.  They may be goofballs interested in things you couldn’t care less about but let them discuss the topic with you.  Especially when they are going through those teenage years and may be at odds with mama or papa bear.  It helps when they have a trusted adult who lets them be excited without having to remind them of logistics like parents have to do.  Be a listener and let them tell you all about it.
  3. Mind the cub.  This is the most important one of all.  Cubs have mamas and papas.  You’re not the rule making mama or papa bear.  You are the fun-loving, slightly rebellious in a safe kind of way, supportive aunt bear.  That means have fun with the cub but be mindful that the mama or papa bear will tear the aunt bear to shreds if that cub receives any harm or threat of harm under the aunt bear’s care.  Be careful teasing the cub if the mama or papa are nearby.  You mind the cub.  Trust me on this.  That mama and/or papa bear do not take kindly to anyone who hurts, mocks, or threatens their cubs in any shape or form.

These are a few of the things I thought of  while remembering my experiences with the cubs.  Some I did better than others.  Some lessons I learned a little late.  As all my nieces and nephew are now grown it has been fun to be included and invited in their doings as adults.  After all that practice with the first set I now get to apply what I have learned with the next generation that is growing.  Now I get to practice being a great-aunt.  It just gets more and more fun!

Seeker or Contenter?

Imagine this:  you have been walking for close to an hour.  Not just walking but hiking in the high mountain desert at the heat of the day in the middle of summer.  You have climbed several feet in elevation.  This was not a planned destination but one decided after you had already begun your walk.  You have one bottle of water with you that is already getting warm.  One vista has already afforded you a view of your town and a chance to rest and ponder.  You follow a different path to begin your descent than the one you followed for the ascent.  Along the path you encounter a fork in the road.  To the left the path goes back down the hill.  To the right there is another hill.  What do you do? Continue reading

The Movie Rant

Do we really need to be as invested as we are with movie story lines?  I went to see the latest Star Wars entry Solo at the beginning of summer and enjoyed it.  I would have enjoyed it if it was the only movie I had ever seen in the franchise but it wasn’t.  I have watched them all.  Even though I now realize this series will not end on a happy note.  We thought it did 30 years ago with Return of the Jedi but The Force Awakens dashed that hope.  There are no happy endings for our long ago and faraway space travelers.  So, why do we need to keep this story going? Continue reading

My unsolicited advice to couples

I am about to cross a line here.  But I feel I am qualified on the grounds of being an objective outsider.  I am an impartial observer that only wants to share my findings.  Hopefully, it will be helpful and not intrusive. Here is my advice to married couples for maintaining a happy union.  This is only based on personal observation not personal experience so take from it what you will.  Continue reading