If I could visit my younger self – the girl in the midst of the refiner’s fire – I would give her words of encouragement. And, since I know that girl all too well, I’d know exactly what to say.

I’d say, broken hearts can heal. As long as bitterness doesn’t infect it first. A bitter heart can’t heal. Always look for the sweet to counteract the bitter. It isn’t always easy but be on the constant lookout for the sweet.

Do not isolate and lick your wounds. At least, don’t make that your lifestyle. You can be alone but don’t make it a habit. A habit becomes a lifestyle. Don’t make being alone your life. That is a deep and dark hole that is difficult to climb out.

A reaction time is normal. But set a time limit and stick to it. If you’re always reacting then you are not acting. Allow the emotions. Process them. Move on. Don’t get stuck in one mode.

You are no better than anyone else. You are not worse either. You are just a different person and you are allowed to respond in your way. Extend others the same courtesy.

It’s okay if you are not everyone’s cup of tea. To be honest, very few are yours. You don’t have to associate with everyone.

Being quiet is not a crime. It is also not a character flaw. Not everyone will understand this.

Work at connecting with those you feel it important to connect with. Relationships are hard work. They need to be maintained. If the connection isn’t important to you, let it go. You choose who is in your life.

In the end, if given the opportunity to visit my younger self I probably wouldn’t say any of this. Because I know that girl wouldn’t listen. I’d probably just nod and smile. She’ll learn soon enough.