It might be said that we each do our best to create fond memories. I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say no one wants to carry around unpleasant memories. At least for the most part, I think it’s safe to assume we’d rather keep in store good and healthy times. An off-shoot of that would naturally be we want others to remember us fondly as well. But that second part gets a little tricky.

I have little control over what I can remember. Some things I remember vividly. Other things are lost in some vast databank in my brain. They sometimes are loaded to my recall when other senses such as a familiar sound of a song unlocks them. There are plenty of songs that describe the song-memory connection so we won’t discuss that here.

There are probably quite a few things that I don’t remember correctly. Or, as I have learned, I have fused certain events together in the back rooms of my brain. Kind of like combining files, if you will. I’m sure there is finite room in my brain’s chambers so that makes sense. Need to free up some storage space so why not combine these two memories together? Efficiency is admirable even if it isn’t always accurate.

This much I have learned though, what people remember about me tends to be more of a reflection on them and sometimes very little about me.

One memory I have, and I don’t know why this little nugget has remained on a ready-to-read access, is a former Young Women leader telling us she wore the same dress every Sunday for about a month or so just to see if anyone noticed. If I remember correctly, no one did.

I should interject here that I don’t blame anyone for not noticing. I usually can’t remember what I wore the day before let alone a whole week ago. So, I don’t think this is that big of a deal. But, again relying on my memory of events, I think she was a little put off about this.

And that’s my most prominent memory of this leader really. At least, that is what has been loading to my recall lately. Mainly because I inadvertently copied her little experiment. For the last 3-4 months, I have worn the same shirt to work every Monday. I didn’t realize it until a month or so in and now I think it’s funny. No one has noticed. Or if they have, they have gossiped about it behind my back. And if that’s how they want to spend their time, go for it. But I really doubt anyone has noticed.

Because of my little experiment, this former Young Women leader has been on my mind. That’s when I realized, what people remember about me is more of a reflection on them than me. Sure, I can spend time and strengthen connections by sharing experiences with someone. But I can’t control what they are going to remember or even how they will remember it.

In the end, we just need to live our life and do the best we can to be decent human beings. Nourish the connections you want to strengthen. Share experiences and make those memories. Just know, their memory might be different than yours. And since that is out of your control, don’t worry about it. It just makes those reunions that much more interesting.