Here are a few imperfect thoughts about grief. 

Grief is deep.  It is roots underneath the soil that can’t be touched with surface level platitudes and clichés.  A caveat will not touch a grieving heart.  Words won’t penetrate a sorrowing heart.  But the gesture can.  Letting someone know you are aware of their suffering is more powerful than the generic offering of hope.

If you don’t know what to say – and most people don’t – let the person know you are thinking of him or her.  No one wants to be forgotten in their suffering although some prefer to suffer alone.  If the loss is important to them they want others to recognize the loss as well.  If their world just ended with the passing of a loved one let them know you are aware of it.

Grief is usually a life long burden.  We learn to pack it up and put it out of sight so that we can continue forward.  But we always carry it with us.  It never really leaves.  It becomes part of us.