A family member is someone you lecture to her face and defend behind her back.

A family member is someone who remembers every past humiliating moment you’ve ever had.  Of course it’s remembered, it’s told, with embellishments, at every family function.

A family member is someone who will help a stranger out with her one bag of groceries from the store while you carry four heavy bags and three gallons of milk and try to get the keys ready to open the car door all by yourself.

A family member is someone who when you find out she’s visiting, you quickly dust by rubbing your hand over the top of the furniture and maybe pick up a blanket from off the floor.

A family member is someone who will catch you when you fall.  Unless, there will be great comic value in letting you fall.  Then you’re gonna fall.

A family member is someone who you assume should have the same memories as you but while reminiscing about your childhoods, you doubt if you grew up in the same house or even share the same parents.

A family member is someone who speaks of loving you frequently but takes every opportunity to point out your shortcomings.  Point blank.  No holds barred.

A family member is someone who is sitting in the audience while you’re on stage playing fairy number 3 with one line to speak in a two-hour play.

A family member is someone who helps you learn to laugh at yourself.  Because he is already laughing.

And finally…Proximity in a family photo does not guarantee familiarity.